This is the truth: I wrote this myself

Among the questions I frequently get is, ”How can you, being a minister, justify writing for the lying, godless-heathen, liberal media conspiracy?“

Sometimes it’s, ”How can you, being a minister, justify writing for the lying, godless-heathen, conservative media conspiracy?“

Another variation goes, ”You seem like decent guy. I know you didn’t produce that despicable column on your own. Your evil editors made you say that, didn’t they?“

I’m sorry to burst anyone’s paranoiac bubble, but let me go on the record here: There is no lying, godless-heathen, media conspiracy—liberal or conservative.

Any given carload of journalists can’t agree about where to stop for lunch, much less on a vast unilateral plot.

Also, in my 20 years of writing opinion columns for newspapers, both as a staff writer and, now, as merely a twice-monthly freelance contributor, I can’t recall one instance in which an editor has told me what I must or can’t say.

I’ve been chastised, correctly, for turning in pieces that displayed bad taste or impenetrable prose, but no one in authority has ever chastised me for, or even asked much about, my political leanings or religious beliefs.

Contrary to popular opinion, there is no ideological journalistic litmus test.

Sad to say, polls show that the American masses hold a dim view of journalists.

I think that’s unfortunate, but I also think it’s based on a slew of misperceptions, not the least of which is that all journalists think alike, or that they all agree with their particular organization’s official stances.

For people who earn their keep by communicating, journalists tend not to explain very well who they are and what they do.

First, when it comes to daily newspapers (the medium I know best), a strict line separates editorial-page writers from news reporters.

Editorial-page staff members are charged with expressing a newspaper’s official positions on issues of public concern. For a variety of historical reasons, many editorial pages list to the left. But others, such as The Wall Street Journal’s, lean rightward.

In any case, a newspaper’s editorial page often doesn’t reflect the beliefs of the reporters charged with gathering the straight news that fills most of any paper’s news hole. A reporter’s job is to present news stories as impartially as he or she can.

Between these poles lie (so to speak) opinion columnists, who are hybrids. Columnists offer their unofficial, personal views, sometimes on the news pages. Most newspapers give space to columnists from a wide range of ideological perspectives and mark their commentaries as just that: commentaries. It’s all pretty fair to everyone.

Second, despite my feeble pun in the previous paragraph, reputable, mainstream journalists do not lie. Ever.

A lot of readers seem not to distinguish between genuine news organizations and the supermarket tabloids that tell us Elvis’ ghost has fathered a baby with Paris Hilton.

Among mainstream journalists, there’s one unbreakable rule: tell the truth. Anyone caught making up or intentionally distorting information is banished. You’re not only out of a position, you’re out of the profession. No second chances.

Being human, even honest reporters do make mistakes, though.

Often, they interview a half-dozen people in a day, including several who want to avoid them. They hear wildly conflicting accounts of the same event. They’ve got a few hours to cobble a story together, then trim it down to 800 or 1,000 words.

It’s stressful. Try it sometime and see how well you do. It’s a testimony to their skill and integrity that most reporters manage to be as accurate as they are.

Third, newsrooms aren’t made up wholly of godless heathens. There are no more heathens in newsrooms than you’d find among any typical high-school faculty, university academic department or other shop whose employees are educated, white-collar drones.

I’ve worked with journalists who were atheists, pagans or socialists. I’ve worked with journalists who were Pentecostals, Presbyterians or Catholics. I’ve worked with Republicans, Democrats, Libertarians and maybe even an anarchist or two.

Journalists, like everyone else, are individuals with free wills.

Finally, a lot of folks seem put off because so much of the news that gets reported is not, on its surface, ”positive.“ But the news media are granted constitutional protections specifically so they can serve as watchdogs against governmental, corporate and religious abuses. Uncovering corruption is probably what they do best.

Ultimately, that’s a great benefit for society. An old axiom says it’s a journalist’s duty ”to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.“

At times, it’s a bit like being a detective, one armed with a barrel of ink instead of a gun. Like cops, journalists aren’t always pleasant people, but thank God they’re here.

So yes, I am a minister, and yes, I’m also proud to be counted among the ink-stained wretches.