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Monday, Jan. 19, 2009

East Jessamine coach battles cancer, brings joy

For East Jessamine Coach Ralph Sallee and his girls' basketball team, this season has been more a journey of faith and inspiration than a trail of victories and defeats.

It has been a winter of life's starkest lesson — how to face mortality — set against the backdrop of fun and games and youthful exuberance.

Sallee has provided a shining example.

Ten months after he was diagnosed with late-stage cancer and told he had nine months to live, after countless chemotherapy and radiation treatments, Sallee battles on, coaching and preaching, and appreciating each breath he takes.

"Some people with (terminal) cancer deal with it so differently than we have," he said. "Some people hibernate and seek quiet solitude.

"My family and I have chosen to try to keep living.

"I want to be here another 30 years, or more. But the Lord has that in his hands, and we have to trust him."

In August, 2007, Sallee got a rosy report from his doctor, Stephen Royse, after a routine physical examination.

"He told me I was one of the healthiest 53-year-olds he'd seen in a while," Sallee remembered.

Six months later, Sallee began having trouble swallowing his food. It wasn't thought to be anything serious. Maybe acid reflux. When medication didn't help, more tests followed.

On the evening of March 26, Sallee and his wife, Alesia, were at O'Charley's in Danville, celebrating their wedding anniversary.

During dinner, they took a phone call from Royse. A CT scan showed a tumor in Ralph's esophagus had metastasized and spread to his liver.

"We knew it was a serious problem," Alesia said.

That didn't lessen the devastating impact of the prognosis from Dr. Michael Horn.

"You always want it to be Stage 1 or Stage 2," Alesia said. "When the oncologist said it was Stage 4 cancer and not curable, those are words you never want to hear."

Ralph recalled it as "almost like a surreal experience.

'This is me and you're telling me I have cancer?'

"It was pretty shocking and stunning."

Horn laid out a plan of treatment for Sallee, starting with chemotherapy.

Sallee also had a plan of his own: "Trust in the Lord because he allowed this to happen to me."

The toughest task for Ralph and Alesia was breaking the news to their children.

Nate, 21, attends Morehead State and is on the baseball team. Courtney, 17, is a senior at Lexington Christian Academy, where Ralph taught and coached for 13 years.

"It hit like a ton of bricks," Nate said. "It was a numbing feeling."

Alesia said the family's faith equipped them to handle the coming adversity.

"We all trust God, all four of us," she said.

Ralph Sallee, who graduated from Cincinnati Bible College, has been a preacher at Scotts Fork Christian Church in rural Garrard County the last 28 years.

Alesia's first thought after being told her husband had nine months to live?

"This will be the miracle our church needs," she said. "God was going to use this to bring our church around and show what power he has."

Church members have rallied around Sallee with prayers and support, and they've been inspired by his presence in the pulpit almost every Sunday.

Sallee has also gotten encouragement from his extended family, and from administrators, teachers and students at East Jessamine High School and West Jessamine Middle, where Alesia has taught for years.

"They're people of faith, that's first and foremost with them," East Jessamine assistant principal Joe Matthews said of the Sallees. "They've struggled, and they've hurt but, through it all, they've kept their faith."

East Jessamine boys' basketball coach Chris O'Bryan said Sallee's "positive mind-set through all this has been inspirational.

"To go through what he's going through and never once question anything is remarkable. It speaks volumes of him and his character."

East Jessamine's assistant coaches and players have witnessed Sallee's battle with cancer up close, and it has affected them all.

"It makes you think about valuing every day you have," assistant Crystal Dean said.