No pressure, right? Valentine's Day is just the ultimate date day of the year.
Early in a relationship, V-Day can cement a good thing or send a shaky suitor scrambling. Midway through, it can remind your love why it is, exactly, that he or she thinks you are still the one.
So how do you pick the perfect date? We've gone to the experts. Buffalo, N.Y., matchmaker Patti Novak was featured on the A&E series Confessions of a Matchmaker and is author of Get Over Yourself! Helen Fisher is a biological anthropologist, chief scientific adviser to the dating Web site Chemistry.com, and author of Why Him, Why Her?
Both said they're not quite sure how the traditional trio of dinner, flowers and chocolate became the mass standard for the holiday, and they agree that it's about striking the right individual note, not meeting some gauzy ideal.
Go with what you know
Here's Novak's advice for a great Valentine's date.
■ Remember what brought you together in the first place and plan accordingly. If you met at a great wine-tasting, maybe it's time to plan another visit. Equus Run Vineyards in Midway (www.equusrunvineyards.com), Lover's Leap in Lawrenceburg (www.loversleapwine.com), Broad Run Vineyards in Louisville (www.broadrunvineyards.com) and StoneBrook Winery in Camp Springs, in Northern Kentucky (www.stonebrookwinery.com) offer special events for Valentine's day. Learn more at www.kentuckywine.com.
■ Novak said there is no single recipe for a perfect date, so make the most of your surroundings. For some people, there could be no better Valentine's than a wild ride on an ATV. Kentucky offers a Sweetheart Ride on Saturday at the 8,000-acre Black Mountain Off Road Adventure Park in Harlan County. For more information, go to www.harlancountytrails.com.
■ A personal favorite for Novak, the longtime matchmaker, is a long walk through a "fabulous cemetery." With the right partner, she said, it could be both "cool and spiritually fulfilling." Lexington and Frankfort have great, historic cemeteries. Check it out at www.visitfrankfort.com or www.lexcem.org. If you choose to do this, though, remember that you're in a cemetery, and behave accordingly.
■ Embrace what makes you and your partner happy. If hunting and collecting weaponry make you swoon, you're in luck this Valentine's Day. The Kenny Woods Gun and Knife (www.rkshows.com) show is at the Lexington Center on Saturday and Sunday.
■ There's nothing wrong with the standard nice dinner for two, Novak said. But even in this modern world, she said, it's nice for the man to make plans. The best way to go, she said, is to do some research and offer a few choices. Check out Herald-Leader food writer Sharon Thompson's roundup of Valentine's specials on Page 8 for ideas.
■ "Be respectful of people's economic situation," Novak said. "If two people really like each other, a six-pack and popcorn should be just fine." Take a short drive into the country and enjoy looking at a sky filled with stars.
What's in your chemistry?
Chemistry.com's Helen Fisher has researched the chemistry of love for decades and has divided romantic personalities into four types, each with a set of likes based on the chemical makeup that most influences their brains. The types are explorer, negotiator, director and builder.
Explorer: Optimistic, impulsive and curious, they crave excitement and like risk-taking.
A ski trip to Snowshoe Mountain in West Virginia (www.snowshoemtn.com) or a sampling of music offered at the worldly, eclectic Natasha's Bistro and Bar (www.beetnik.com) downtown might be a perfect date. Explorers also might be up for something like "A Percy Trout Valentine," featuring the DJ from WRFL-88.1 FM at Al's Bar (www.myspace.com/alsbarlexington).
Builder: Builders make sensible decisions about money and family, and they value security above all else. The perfect Valentine's date for these folks would be dinner at a favorite cozy restaurant. Think more Ramsey's and Joe Bologna's in Lexington and Fava's in Georgetown and less Applebee's or Cracker Barrel.
Director: These are people who like to get to the point. The challenge on Valentine's Day will be getting them to put away their cell phones during whatever date is planned. They are romantic, Fisher said, although highly practical about love. The best bet, she said, is a good old reliable steak place, perhaps Columbia Steak House (www.columbiassteakhouse.com).
They also might enjoy activities at Kentucky State Parks. Most of the resort parks are offering romantic getaway weekends. Check out the options at http://parks.ky.gov/promotions/holidays/Valentine.htm.
Negotiator: This altruistic, flexible group tends to be the most romantic and takes real joy in the little things. To please the negotiator, try a visit to a place that has something to do with romance. If you met at the Lexington Art League's annual Nude exhibit, say, it's time for a return visit for Nude 2010 at the LAL @ Loudoun House gallery (www.lexingtonartleague.org). Or, perhaps, shopping and a scone at Lexington's Coffee Times (www.coffeetimescoffee.com) or a shopping trip to the Farmers Market and then cooking a nice meal together. (www.lexingtonfarmersmarket.com).
