Full Disclosure

Posted on January 9, 2011 

In the interest of full disclosure regarding my blog title,  I should probably admit that I am not really desperate and not really a housewife.  However, as much as it embarrasses me to admit  - I love all the housewife tv shows - both the fiction and “reality” versions.  I thought it would be a slightly amusing angle to use this blog to compare and contrast my boring, Madison County life against the glamorous, cocktail-fueled escapades of women with whom I have little in common.  Then I thought, well maybe if I started drinking at noon, shopped and gossiped all day, and conducted my life without any semblance of manners, maybe my life wouldn’t be so boring either? But, I don’t really have the bank account, household staff, or fortitude to try that experiment. I mean, I have to go to work and cook dinner for the kids and attend PTO meetings and help out at Children’s Church and go grocery shopping and text my husband to find-out what time he is coming home from work– you know the boring stuff.

So, please don’t judge me too harshly for my escapist junk tv show addiction.  I would like to have you believe that I rarely watch tv and spend my evenings knitting or making organic soup  when I am not reading the Steig Larsson trilogy or the Bible. However,  I am usually so brain-dead after working all day, cooking dinner, taking kids to piano lessons, dance class, and sports practices, wrestling a favorite webkinz away from the puppy, and trying to convince my husband that I am interested in the football game he is talking about, that I usually crash around 10pm with a little hit of mind-numbing cable tv.

The real facts about my not-so-glamorous television house-wifey life are that I’m a generally happily married mother of an 11-year-old daughter and a 10-year-old son. I have been working full-time for the past 4 years, but was a stay-at-home mom for seven years and worked full-time for seven years before becoming a mother. My daughter is in middle-school and is very involved in numerous school and extra-curricular activities and is so sweet and gentle that I sometimes wonder if she inherited any of my snarky, awkward genes at all.  My son is a fourth-grader who would almost always prefer to be at home playing video games, or talking about mythology or the Vikings (the marauding sailors, not the football team, to my husband’s disappointment) but is also very involved, if reluctantly, in several activities. All this means is that like most moms I know, but not like the moms on tv, I drive around a lot  . . .  and wait around a lot . . . and talk about Vikings a lot . . . and I spend an inordinate amount of time at Wal-Mart . . . again, not very glamorous.

My long-suffering husband of 18 years is my rock and is an all-around great guy who occasionally suffers from general male cluelessness. He works at his family’s small business which translates to him being on-call almost 24/7 and having long and unpredictable work hours which can sometimes make me feel “desperate.” And I think I may have mentioned that he likes football. Last summer we adopted a dog from the pound because I didn’t feel that I had enough creatures under my care to feed and train and clean-up after and basically keep alive. So now we also have an 8-month old puppy who is a mixed breed of beagle, Irish Setter, and tazmanian devil.

It's not very exciting is it? I doubt the tv producers will be contacting me anytime soon, but maybe you can relate? And maybe you secretly like to watch those shows too? Don’t worry, you don’t have to publicly admit to it like I did. Check back when you can and see if we can share a laugh or a cry at the boring, non-glamorous life of this Bluegrass Mom.

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