I admit that I was a little smug.
In my last blog, I was raving about how I finally knew what God was planning for me. I patted myself on the back for making it through a time in my life when I had no clue what my future held. Just trust God, I said.
At the time, I was overjoyed that I landed a great job as a volunteer coordinator for Lexington Habitat for Humanity. Two and a half years after I was laid off from an editing job at the Herald-Leader, I finally found my destiny.
Everything made sense. I had reached the promised land.
All the while, God was grinning at me, maybe even laughing at me for thinking I'd figured things out. Like a professional chess player, he let me go on thinking I knew what his next move would be.
So you can imagine how shocked I was to find out I was pregnant. Yep, that's right. Pregnant. Bun in the oven. Pea in the pod.
At first, my hubby blamed it on the "cheap, Kroger-brand test". But an $18 EPT confirmed. And a trip to the doctor today left no doubt.
I'm 9 weeks pregnant, practically through my first trimester. Heck, I'm just short of being on that show about women who didn't know they were pregnant until they were giving birth. Suddenly, a million things make sense -- the nausea, the headaches, the fatigue, the mood swings.
I still can't believe it. I'm still processing it. I'm going to have a baby at age 38.
I just have to wonder if God was cracking up every time Michael and I declared we weren't having any more kids. I have to wonder if he chuckled when I gave away all Michaela's baby clothes, her crib and other baby gear. I just know he was winking at the angels when I was filling out my employment forms and checked "no" when asked if I was pregnant.
You don't understand. I always wanted two kids, but my hubby wasn't having it. And over the years, I came to grips with that. I was happy with my one blessing. I was happy that I wouldn't have to go through the 2 a.m. feedings or the teething or the morning sickness and labor and delivery again.
I know God thought that was hilarious. He was lining things up, setting the scene, paving the way for something bigger than I could imagine.
So, there's a lesson here. Trusting God is a journey, not a destination. You never know what God has planned for you.
God likes to keep us on our toes. Well, actually, he likes to keep us on our knees.
You have to let him control your life. You just sit back and enjoy the ride. Otherwise, the joke's on you.
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