Read some of Gatewood's best quips, quotes and barbs through the years

January 5, 2012 

On the campaign trail and in interviews, Gatewood Galbraith was known for great lines, quips and barbs about the state of politics, government and life in America. Here are some of Galbraith's more memorable lines from his time in politics.

"If I was going to lie to you, I'd already be elected." (a common refrain during Galbraith's stump speeches)

"For all you Petrochemical-Pharmaceutical-Military-Industrial-Transnational-Corporate-Fascist-Elite-Bastards, I've got your karma right here." (in his book, The Last Free Man in America Meets the Synthetic Subversion.)

"I've got a certain derring-do about me. I'm an explorer for the truth in a jungle of political overgrowth." (in a 2011 interview with the Herald-Leader)

"Newt (former House Speaker Gingrich) and Mitch (Senate Minority Leader McConnell) are aliens, not conservatives. They never met a bloated police state they didn't like." (from the same 2011 interview)

"Ronald Reagan and George Bush aren't conservatives. They are aliens." (from a 1991 interview with the Herald-Leader)

"My opponents are both honorable men, and I believe they're telling the truth on each other in those ads they're running. If they're lying, we can't use 'em in Congress. If they're telling the truth, we sure as hell can't use 'em." (in reference to Republican Ernie Fletcher and Democrat Scotty Baesler when Galbraith ran against them for Congress in 2000)

"We're going to take the government out of your bedroom, your bloodstream, your brain, your bladder, your business, your billfold, your back pockets, your bingo halls and your Internet bulletin boards." (in 1995 stump speech — and many other speeches before and after)

"Did my father's generation hit the beaches of Normandy and Iwo Jima so that I'd have to pee in a cup to hold a job in America?" (also during his 1995 campaign for governor)

"That was the worst darn speech I've ever heard. I'm highly offended by it." (in his speech at the 2011 Fancy Farm political picnic, referring to Gov. Steve Beshear's just-completed speech about visiting troops in the Middle East)

"I wouldn't sell them my gun, and I sure as heck wouldn't sell them my canteen." (in 2002, speaking in opposition to the sale of Kentucky American Water to a German company)

"If Kentucky is going to survive ... they're going to have to reach back and grab a plant that our granddaddies used to grow by the thousands of acres," (at the Fancy Farm picnic in 1990, arguing for the return of Kentucky agriculture to the growing and marketing of hemp)

"There's no doubt that I'm an old hippie, and I don't apologize to anybody for that. Certainly those are the people who came together to stop the slaughter in Vietnam, and I'm proud of that. Compared to 'Republican,' I'll take 'hippie' every time." (in a 1990 interview with the Herald-Leader)

"People say, 'How can you be a practicing attorney and smoke marijuana?' My response to that is: 'Hey, if slavery were still legal, I'd be heading the underground railroad. If the Vietnam War were still going on, I'd be out in the streets demonstrating. If segregation were still intact, I'd be sitting at a lunch counter somewhere." (in the same 1990 interview)

"I'm in the same shape as Donald Trump and the United States government — I'm broke," (in 1991, after Galbraith spent an hour in jail when he failed to appear in court on charges that he had not paid local occupational taxes)

"The U.N. didn't win us any Independence. Sure, anybody can get a float in the parade, I'm all for that, but when they put the U.N. and the U.S. on the same level, there's going to be trouble." (statement made a few days before Galbraith was arrested for disrupting Lexington's Fourth of July parade, which celebrated the 50th anniversary of the United Nations)

"People would come here with smiles on their faces and money in their pockets. They would leave with bigger smiles on their faces, but we would have their money." (in a 1991 interview, on making Kentucky a tourist destination by growing marijuana)

"Our relationship with Mother Earth is the most basic relationship that we have in this birth-death cycle. And when a government tells us that we cannot go to our mother source that is Earth, and plant a seed in God's green earth, and utilize the green plant that comes up out of there in its natural form for our fiber and food and medicine needs, then that government is awry and that government no longer represents the best interests of the citizens of this country." (at a 1991 rally at the Lexington courthouse, where he appeared with Willie Nelson, calling for legalization of marijuana)

"If you like what you see, tell your friends. If you don't, just hush up, OK? I've got enough troubles as it is." (in May 1991 stump speech in Mayfield)

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