Webster: Self-defense often self-fulfilling ,self-defeating

Contributing columnistFebruary 3, 2013 

Self defense seems to be much more necessary for those people who know how to do it. Just like karate. Most of us have never been in a situation where we need to know martial arts, but those people who know how to dress up in those towel-ly suits and kick and whack always seem to have to self defend.

Show me a karate guy and he will have a story of being accosted by 15 or more vaguely Orientals with sticks in an alley. That's why I didn't study martial arts. They are dangerous.

Assault rifles are handy for those whose ambition has always been to kill a burglar. Twenty rounds into the torso changes burgle to gurgle, plus you get to keep your stuff that he had in the bag, if you still want your stuff with the blood of another all over it. An old Louisville song legend has a homely old maid keeping a burglar at gunpoint demanding that he marry her and he looked her over and told her to go ahead and shoot. Maybe if she had a Westbender with Manly Clip assault rifle they would have been happily married today.

The Second Amendment permits things that wise people do not do, just like the First Amendment does. Those unwise and scared who only study war make choices which they believe make them and theirs safer, but those choices do not. In making those choices, they are abusing the Second Amendment.

You can abuse an amendment, just like Larry Flynt and the Rev. Jerry Falwell did. Flynt put Falwell in the outhouse, and Falwell spake for Christian Sharia. Abusing amendments is un-American. Abusing commandments is a different thing and makes one a neo-Christian. But we need a House Un-American Activities Committee to hold hearings when people abuse amendments and to figure out how to stop the gun lobby from making the Second Amendment so unpopular that we who love it will lose it.

We love congressional hearings. There you can watch a mouse bite off an elephant's tail, or a tadpole raise up words with a whale. So maybe when Sen. Rand Paul gets Hillary Clinton fired and comes back to Bowling Green on the weekend and gets his breath, he could go back and have a Senate subcommittee ask this important question: Do guns aid in self protection?

If you find yourself in a conflict of such severity that you are beginning to think a gun would be handy, and it seems to be getting worse, one of two things must happen for you to be safe. Your opponent must either quit the fight on his own or, if he won't, then you must be willing to quit yourself or do something more drastic to him than he has done to you. You have got to do this before your foe comes to the same realization himself.

The introduction of a firearm into such a situation makes nonviolent choices harder and harder and virtually guarantees its escalation, and real danger has been born. If he sees an assault rifle, somebody is going to die, and it might be you.

The old timers used to say that a good run is better than a bad stand.

That kind of thinking kept them alive long enough to be old timers. Getting guns out during a fight is, as Jim McCown would say, "Ignorant with a capital 'E'." People who got guns out during a fight can be found in the mountains, over coal and under granite, as we say, "out on one of them points."

Larry Webster is a Pikeville attorney. Reach him at websterlawrencer@bellsouth.net.

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