Possible scenarios for Oscars, host MacFarlane at their best and worst

Los Angeles TimesFebruary 21, 2013 

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Seth MacFarlane will host the Oscars.

BOB D'AMICO — ABC

  • ON TV

    85th Annual Academy Awards

    8:30 p.m. Feb. 24 on ABC

    Pre- and post-shows:

    All shows are Feb. 24 unless otherwise noted.

    Countdown to the Red Carpet: The 2013 Academy Awards. Fashion, early arrivals, etc. 1:30 p.m., E!

    Live From the Red Carpet: The 2013 Academy Awards. Red-carpet interviews, etc. Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Rancic host. 5:30 p.m., E!

    2013 Academy Awards Red Carpet With Chris Harrison. 6 p.m., TV Guide Channel.

    The Oscars Red Carpet Live! 7 p.m., ABC.

    E! After Party: The 2013 Academy Awards. Awards highlights, parties, etc. 11:30 p.m., E!

    Jimmy Kimmel Live: After the Oscars. 12:05 a.m. Feb. 25, ABC.

    Fashion Police: The 2013 Academy Awards. Best and worst of fashion. 8:30 p.m. Feb. 25, E!

LOS ANGELES — Seth MacFarlane has compared hosting the Oscars to President Obama's first term. By trying to please everyone, this year's Oscar emcee says, you end up pleasing no one.

How will MacFarlane fare? From a rundown of what we know about this year's show, we offer the following best- and worst-case scenarios:

Opening monologue

■ Best-case scenario: MacFarlane successfully negotiates a tricky tonal middle ground between snark and respect, delivering a broadly appealing sense of irreverence that includes him singing a genuinely funny parody of Les Misérables.

■ Worst-case scenario: Remember that Emmy mailer last year for MacFarlane's animated TV show Family Guy? The one that appealed to voters by saying, "Come on, you bloated, overprivileged Brentwood Jews, let us into your little club"? We get 10 minutes of that kind of tone-deaf, insider humor, culminating with a cameo from Stewie.

Show is broken up into 13 acts, each possessing what the producers call a "wow moment."

■ Best case: Act 1's wow moment: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler join MacFarlane as co-hosts!

■ Worst case: Producers define "wow moments" as surprise guest appearances from — OMG! — the original Broadway casts of Hairspray and Footloose.

A special tribute to film musicals of the past decade, including best picture nominee Les Miz, 2002's best picture winner Chicago and 2006's Dreamgirls

■ Best case: Anne Hathaway! Jennifer Hudson! Eddie Murphy! Razzle dazzle!

■ Worst case: An eight-minute interpretive dance number, culminating with Russell Crowe singing And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going.

Twenty-two cameras, including an army of hand-held specialists

■ Best case: There's one camera trained on Tommy Lee Jones' face for the entire ceremony.

■ Worst case: Hand-held cameramen were schooled by Lars von Trier. Nauseated home viewers turn off their TVs en masse.

Special salute to James Bond movies, celebrating the series' 50th anniversary

■ Best case: The six men who have played 007 — Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig — share the stage.

■ Worst case: Only Lazenby shows.

Barbra Streisand sings!

■ Best case: She performs a moving tribute to her friend and frequent collaborator, composer Marvin Hamlisch. When she finishes, there's not a dry eye in the house.

■ Worst case: It's not a tribute to Hamlisch. It's a duet with ... MacFarlane.

Adele performs Skyfall

■ Best case: It's just her and the piano. No needless distractions. No Bond girls shimmying in the background.

■ Worst case: It's just her and the piano — with Lazenby sprawled across the top of it.

Mark Wahlberg reunites with the animated bear from Ted to present an award.

■ Best case: The movie's R-rated comic sensibility is toned down enough to translate to the broadcast's PG-13 standards.

■ Worst case: Thanks to network censors, we won't be able to hear half their routine.

Best picture "wow moment"

■ Best case: "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome ... Gene Hackman!"

■ Worst case: "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome ... the cast of Twilight!"

The ceremony ends ...

■ Best case: ... with the wealth spread around, befitting a year with so many good movies.

■ Worst case: ... sometime Monday morning.


ON TV

85th Annual Academy Awards

8:30 p.m. Feb. 24 on ABC

Pre- and post-shows:

All shows are Feb. 24 unless otherwise noted.

Countdown to the Red Carpet: The 2013 Academy Awards. Fashion, early arrivals, etc. 1:30 p.m., E!

Live From the Red Carpet: The 2013 Academy Awards. Red-carpet interviews, etc. Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Rancic host. 5:30 p.m., E!

2013 Academy Awards Red Carpet With Chris Harrison. 6 p.m., TV Guide Channel.

The Oscars Red Carpet Live! 7 p.m., ABC.

E! After Party: The 2013 Academy Awards. Awards highlights, parties, etc. 11:30 p.m., E!

Jimmy Kimmel Live: After the Oscars. 12:05 a.m. Feb. 25, ABC.

Fashion Police: The 2013 Academy Awards. Best and worst of fashion. 8:30 p.m. Feb. 25, E!

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