The Cinemark Movies 10 at Woodhill showed its last movie – “Bad Moms” – beginning at 10:10 p.m. on Monday. I went to see it along with four other flicks as part of a Labor Day marathon to honor the fallen movie house (a sentence which is a good analogue for “I do not have children”).
My roommate, Devin, decided last minute to tag along for the first four shows. (He opted out of “Bad Moms” because he had to wake up at 5:30 a.m. and go to work; who needs sleep?) I purchased all five of my tickets – $37 even – on my phone over breakfast at McDonald’s; Devin chose to buy his before each showing from one of the ticket machines at the theater. In the moment, the irony was lost on us that we were helping eliminate jobs but not fast enough to keep cinemas from shutting down.
The day started with “Pete’s Dragon” in 3D at 11:40 a.m, the first movie to fire up on the final day. Review: It was as bright-eyed and tear-jerky as you could hope for from a Disney outing. I’ve never seen the 1977 namesake, but my guess is it resonated more with the decent amount of kids who got to see it that morning. A strong start to the marathon.
“Suicide Squad” began at 1:20 p.m. Employee apathy must have set in sometime after lunch hour; the ticket-taker booth was abandoned and remained empty for the rest of the evening. I flagged down an employee to have my ticket ripped out of some sense of “doing the right thing.” It was at that point I realized I could have saved $30; the rest of my tickets went home untorn.
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We walked out of “Sausage Party” and witnessed the beginning stages of cinema disembowelment. Posters had been expunged from the scene, perhaps now hanging in the room of a former Cinemark employee.
Josh Moore, Herald-Leader sports writer and movie enthusiast
The latest effort inspired by DC Comics had the largest crowd of any movie we watched, but it was by no means stuffed. Review: It’s flawed, but its badness has been greatly exaggerated by some critics. Will Smith and Margot Robbie are terrific, as is Jared Leto, if you can get past the ridiculous visual interpretation of his Joker.
Hunger set in by the time “War Dogs” started at 3:30. Devin bought some popcorn; I roughed it until we hit up T.G.I. Friday’s in Hamburg following the conclusion of the latest Jonah Hill romp. Review: It was solid, but probably the film among the five I’d be least likely to watch again. Maybe I’ll give it another go on a full stomach?
I had a couple of alcoholic beverages at the restaurant to get me in the right mind to watch our next show, “Sausage Party.” The trailers made me want to avoid this, but positive reviews and nicely fitting into a tight schedule combined to get it into the marathon. Review: As raunchy as its title implies, but delightful. It’s not kid-friendly, but it sends a strong message about people’s belief systems that everyone could stand to absorb.
We walked out of “Sausage Party” and witnessed the beginning stages of cinema disembowelment. Posters had been expunged from the scene, perhaps now hanging in the room of a former Cinemark employee. Inside marquees were being unwritten. The final act was underway. Devin departed, leaving me to kill an hour between the end of “Sausage Party” and the beginning of “Bad Moms.” I reflected on what I’d seen there, and with whom.
Employee apathy must have set in sometime after lunch hour; the ticket-taker booth was abandoned and remained empty for the rest of the evening. I flagged down an employee to have my ticket ripped out of some sense of “doing the right thing.” It was at that point I realized I could have saved $30; the rest of my tickets went home untorn.
The most momentous occasion was “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part Two,” the grand finale of a marathon spanning almost 10 years. The most depressing trip was “Brave,” a good animated movie with a strong female lead that I watched with the most pretentious and fragile woman I’ve ever dated. Those ends of the spectrum included dozens of flicks in-between, from forgetful fare like “The Change-Up” (a Ryan Reynolds movie for which I kept a ticket stub but had to Google to jog my memory about what it was about) to underrated blockbusters like “Edge of Tomorrow.”
In one last show of respect to the theater, I bought a small popcorn, a large fountain Coke and some Raisinets — which cost about half the total of my complete ticket purchase (no wonder people aren’t coming to the movies). The young lady who served my pop asked me how it tasted, because she was thinking about having some. “Like Coke,” I said, hoping she and her co-workers would empty the machine in some sort of juvenile protest of “The Man.”
There were maybe 10 people in the cinema to see “Bad Moms,” far fewer than I thought would turn out. Review: Perhaps I was riding the last bits of high only a 12-hour movie marathon could elicit, but I laughed quite a bit.
The outside marquee was emptied by time the final credits rolled, replaced with a brand-friendly message encouraging patrons to visit the Cinemark at Fayette Mall — a pricier but more up-to-date venue. Outside of the telltale signs of demise, Woodhill’s final day seemed to come and go with little fanfare. It was just another day at the movies.
A long, fun day.