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closeLove and respect for others are my top core values. I have found that when I incorporate those two values on a daily basis, it is always a better day.
I learned those values from two of the best leaders I have ever known and was able to do it from my own childhood living room. No, I was not watching TV but watching my parents.
The way they loved and respected others was completely different, and in turn I hope that I have turned out to be a good combination of the two of them.
Grace Gorrell with a wedding photo of her parents, Paul H. and Shan Stone Gray, at her home in Lexington. Gorrell said her father's enthusiasm inspired others and her mother quietly took care of many in need.
Grace Gorrell photographed in her home in Lexington, Ky., Wednesday, September, 30, 2009. She wrote a piece about how she values the leadership skills her parents taught her. Photo by Charles Bertram | Staff
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These are her values. What are yours?
This year, we'd like you to help us write A Year of Living Our Values. We are particularly looking for holiday season-related essays that show how you live your values and how you hope to pass those values on to future generations.
Your essay must be true and well-written, preferably told in the first person, and it should be a maximum of 600 words. Prose and poetry will be considered. Previously published works will not be accepted.
We'll publish the best submissions in the Herald-Leader print edition and online.
E-mail your submissions to sshive@herald-leader.com with the subject line "Values essay."
To submit by mail, send entries to Values Essay, Lexington Herald-Leader, c/o Features Department, 100 Midland Avenue, Lexington, Ky., 40508.
You must include your name, age, address and a daytime telephone number. This is not a contest, and no prizes will be awarded. No payment will be given.
My father was the county extension agent for agriculture. His job was his hobby. His passion was helping make a difference in people's lives, one person at a time.
He was diagnosed with cancer when he was 57. After surgery, he was in intensive care, where no one was allowed to visit him but family. Several dozen people a day stopped to check on him. They ranged from bank presidents to people with barely an eighth-grade education.
Each one of them said the same thing: "Paul Gray is my friend." Then they would tell a story of how he had made a difference in their life.
For some, it was helping them become better farmers and in turn become more financially solvent. To others it was the laughter he gave them from the funny story he told them or just taking the time to bring a bit of joy to their lives when he took the time to sit down and visit them.
He had a natural ability to inspire folks to enthusiastically work on projects to improve the community and have a good time while they did it. They were willing to work hard because he was right there beside them, working just as hard, praising them when they did well and making whatever project they were working on a grand adventure.
My favorite quotation from my dad was, "I will not question your judgment until you give me cause to do so." But when I did give him cause to do so, he reprimanded me in a way that still made me feel loved and valued.
My mother was the silent leader. Both of them were servant leaders. My mother thrived on trying to find out what the needs of the "little guys" were and do whatever she could to make their lives a little better.
She had a great art of picking out the stray or neglected person and nurturing them. She did this by cooking them their favorite dish and welcoming them with open arms no matter what time of the day or night they arrived at our doorstep.
That is how a special dog became a part of our family. He came running in our door during a terrible storm, and my mother made him feel so welcome that even though he belonged to a doctor who lived in a much fancier neighborhood, "Mr. Big Dog" continued to make visits to our home for many years. Eventually his owner gave him to my mother.
She never cared who got the credit; her reward was when she saw someone she cared about have something good happen to them. She would be the first one to drop them a card or in her quite way let them know she was proud of them.
Both of my parents made anyone who came into our life feel comfortable and of great value. Of all of my friends, our house was one of the smallest, but it was always the one that was the gathering spot for all of us because when they walked through the door they could feel the love and respect that was given to them.
I am grateful for what my parents taught me, and I strive to show loving respect to all who I meet.
Grace Gray Gorrell teaches leadership studies at the University of Kentucky and has a leadership-training organization, Lead With Grace (www.leadwithgrace.org). She is married to Brian Gorrell and has a daughter, Cassady, and two stepsons, Todd and Shawn.
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