Larry Webster contributing columnist for the Lexington Herald-Leader

Larry Webster

Webster: Hurry, hurry, get your empty promises here

When the Addison's Snake Oil Medicine Show wagon comes to town, coal miners come a' skippin.' Nationally, there are 15 percent more skippin' coal miners with jobs under President Barack Obama than President George W. Bush, but that is skippin' for the Snake Oil man to do.

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Archive by category ''Larry Webster

LARRY WEBSTER

Larry Webster: When pressure cookers are outlawed, only outlaws will have Sunday dinner

The rare food we grew up on, not fried, was boiled and always in a pressure cooker by an equally explosive stepmother who could fix Sunday dinner about as quick as it takes the teenager at the drive-through window to oversauce your fast food enough to ruin your clothes.
LARRY WEBSTER

Larry Webster: Hoping the Snake Man will be back for Hillbilly Days

Mountain physicians report a staggering decline in the number of gagging cases now that Celtic Woman is, as Jeanette Carter would say, over with.
LARRY WEBSTER

Larry Webster: Drones multiply as bees disappear

Tie Rod couldn't get in the chiropractor's office because it was full of coal operators who had strained their necks from looking up to see if President Barack Obama was about to drone them, or from looking all the way to the tops of those massive piles of coal which extend for miles at the docks...
LARRY WEBSTER

Larry Webster: Hurts to tell boon companions goodbye

The two hardest things I ever put to sleep were Spike and my Gravely tractor. Both were old faithful companions.
LARRY WEBSTER

Larry Webster: 'Quare' and queer in the church, state and combat

"Quare" in the mountains means just what it sounds like, but is not used as a noun.
LARRY WEBSTER

Webster: Self-defense often self-fulfilling ,self-defeating

Self defense seems to be much more necessary for those people who know how to do it. Just like karate. Most of us have never been in a situation where we need to know martial arts, but those people who know how to dress up in those towel-ly suits and kick and whack always seem to have to self defend...
LARRY WEBSTER

Larry Webster: Why must children die dodging bullets or the cold?

Not all of us were warm, not all of us.
LARRY WEBSTER

Webster: Need 'I' in team in Congress' Cliff Bowl

The fruit is low for a columnist at the New Year. In lieu of thought or rash judgment, you can either recap, resolve or predict or go over who died.
LARRY WEBSTER

Webster: Keeping 'sault rifles away from the nerds

Figgy Puddin's Christmas party is about as far as you can go up the holler and not be on Gobbler's Knob.
LARRY WEBSTER

Larry Webster: School tricks and national politics

Last week, Moses Lowe of the Brushy Fork of Johns Creek told me a 65-year-old, one-room schoolhouse story which pretty well explains the election.