At last, a preacher guaranteed to please all has been found. He preaches exactly 25 minutes and sits down. He preaches against sin in such a gentle way he never hurts anyone's feelings. He works from 6:00 A.M. to 10:00 P.M. in every kind of work possible. He can clean up the church [building] if necessary, helps overhaul the autos of the congregation, and is an expert in almost every field. He always dresses in the best clothes, buys the latest books on every subject, has a well-dressed and well-behaved family, drives a late model car at all times, gives to every charitable fund and gives $30.00 a week to the church from his $60.00 weekly income .
He is 26 years old and has been preaching for 30 years; is tall, short, handsome, heavy set; one brown eye, one blue eye; hair parted in the middle, left side, dark and straight, right side brown and wavy. He has a burning desire to work with teenagers and spends all his time with the older folk. Smiles all the time with a straight face, because he has a good sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his work. He has a flowing personality with deadened feelings and nerves of iron.