Sitting in a pristine white kitchen daintily clinking fancy tea cups, Amy Detjen and Meghan Borough come across as moms you would want as friends.
That's what they were aiming for with their educational video series and website by the same name, Tantrums Over Tea.
In fact, the effort grew out of friends and family asking them for advice. Detjen is a school psychologist and Borough a guidance counselor at Lexington's Glendover Elementary School.
"It really started with advice I was giving my peers," said Detjen.
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And advice they needed themselves. Both Detjen and Borough are mothers, each with two kids. Detjen, 36, has daughters who are 5 and 7. Borough, 31, just gave birth to her second daughter. Her oldest child is 3.
And although their video series is beautifully lit and professionally done, they want people to know they make parenting mistakes every day.
"Sometime multiple times a day," Detjen said with a laugh. "We don't just talk about this, we live it."
And they hope that is a selling point for the video series. Too often parents, especially young moms, are getting parenting tips from older male authority figures. (Think John Rosemond.)
But the six-part video series that sells for $19.50 is more than just coffee-klatch chatting. The duo spent months researching their topics and honing the video script.
"Hours and hours and hours and hours," Detjen said.
Even filming the segments took long stretches over five days.
"We didn't want to do something that was quick and trendy," said Borough, game for an interview and photo session just a week after giving birth. "It is research-based and it is rooted in decades of behavioral science."And, she said, it's advice that works.
As professionals who deal with children every day, the women said they believe in kind of old-school parenting that sets clear limits and get rewards.
They want parents to know no one completely avoids the eye-rolling and foot stamping of tantrums or — a favorite toddler go-to move — the flat out flail on the floor.
They've been there, said Detjen.
"We are just like everybody else."
But because of their education and careers, they can assess how they reacted in a situation and hope to adjust the next time. Their video series is aimed at helping parents do the same.
So why a video series and not a book or a class?
They talked about those options early on, but realize the default when faced with a parenting problem for themselves and the parents they knew was to go to the computer.
As they point out in the introductory video on their website, busy working parents don't have a lot of time for leisurely reading of books, but can squeeze in a short instructional video.
And, Detjen pointed out, if parents need extra help figuring out how to stem a certain behavior they can just review the video.
Before they put it out for sale they had a number of parents and professionals alike review their lessons to make sure they were understandable. The response was favorable and they are reaching out to pediatrician offices and day care centers around Fayette County to let parents know the series is available. They are doing it all in addition to their day jobs and responsibilities as mothers.
They are passionate and motivated to help today's parents who are willing to share their mistakes more openly than their own parents were, but still need good resources.
The operation is in its infancy and they are still able to handle mailing out orders themselves. But they are striving for a wider audience and will soon be appearing once a month on WTVQ to offer parents advice.
And Detjen said they will "leave no stone unturned" to make sure parents know help is available.
"This isn't new," said Borough. "It's not like we have some magic time-out policy that has never been taught before, but it works."