I know how the election is going to be rigged and how Hillary Clinton is going to cheat Donald Trump out of the presidency. You see, in fact, Clinton and Trump are good friends. (Such good friends that he donated money last year to the Clinton Foundation, and this deduction would show up on his tax return. That is why he won’t produce his last year’s tax returns, it would be, you might say, a conflict of their interests.)
Back to this true life story. You see, more than two years ago, Clinton and Trump got together in the Trump Tower, and he said to her, “Hillary, I like you so much that I want you to be our next president. So this is what I’ll do. I’ll run on the Republican ticket, and if I win the nomination, I’ll make the most idiotic remarks and say things that make no sense whatsoever during the general election campaign so that the public will turn on me and elect you. I’ll say things that show I know nothing about international affairs (Ukraine/ISIS), economics (tariffs), and the Second Amendment (Supreme Court judges make law). How’s that for a plan?”
And that, folks, is what I call sarcasm.