When horses finally realize they can breed anywhere, when word gets out that boy horses will breed free of charge, when a business is based on being able to sell fairly useless animals for tens of thousands of times their intrinsic worth, then horse farming is quickly just as obsolete as the last kind of Kentucky farms which raised and sold useless stuff.
We tobacco farmers never charged no half million dollars for breeding.
The free market punishes and rewards, and the poor people of Kentucky have no more duty to the horse industry than they did to the tobacco industry.
The free market of ideas is quite another thing.
The Southern Baptist Church, formed by animal traffickers, finds itself facing a shrinking pool of superstitious white people and must figure out ways to lure them in, to teach their hearts to fear etc., even if it means reaching out to colored people.
How do we get red and yellow and maybe, light brown, into Southern Baptist Churches who predict a 50 percent decline in their membership, which translates into about eight million people going to hell in the next 40 years?
Now that the legislature has turned both Slot and his wife into pillars of salt, denying the sacred right of fools from Kentucky and out-of-state to bet against electric machines at racetracks, we wonder, just wonder, if David Williams and those fundamentalist Republicans would consider putting those video slot machines in Baptist churches, there on the side where nobody sits anymore.
It would increase attendance. All the local sinners would be right there handy for saving, if you could preach loud enough to be heard over the whirring. You wouldn't have to have a nursery school, and instead of passing around the plate and getting a dollar from some rich old heaven-bound miser, you just do an automatic 10 percent tithe out of the handle.
Instead of lemons and cherries, a jackpot could be if you line up Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. The revival would be year round, church every day, which would satisfy many.
If "churchinos" do occur with slots on one side and the pulpit on the other, the question is: On which side are they doing the most gambling?
The big split in the Baptist church is between those who do not believe in the inerrancy of the Bible and those who pretend that they do. That split embodies, on the one hand, the missionaries Baptists send to the world of learning and who don't come back, and on the other hand those who think they need not learn anything their preacher didn't say.
In seminary, the question becomes, whom do you let teach preachers? There may be diverse colors in the congregation, but the preacher will be spouting the dogma put forth now by our national religious mullahs, our supreme leaders, our ayatollahs — which is stuff most thinking people cannot believe.
My old heroine, Gertrude Tackett, was being interviewed at the nursing home where she was living. She was being interviewed because she is a natural entertainer who would play the banjo and sing to the other inmates.
When the reporter asked her about the Bible, Gertrude said: "I read it once, from cover to cover and didn't see any need to read it again."