In the People's Republic of Bell County, the school board has voted to allow prayer before football games and while they did not make it mandatory, they did vote to allow soft drinks to be thrown on anybody who talked during prayer or looked up, infidels subject to beheading in any less tolerant place.
It is hard to pray at a ball game and not ask that a large rock come unchained and fall on the team bus of the opponent.
You could build three high schools in Kentucky with the public money which has been wasted defending unconstitutional acts of public officials such as school boards which promote religion, even after their lawyer has told them what will happen if they do.
Along comes the American Civil Liberties Union, which at times seems like the only true Americans left, or is it true-left Americans? They will take it to federal court because state judges cannot be trusted to uphold the law if that law doesn't suit the majority.
On another matter: Where is the United States Postal Service when you need them?
Each evening, at 5:38, the Postal Service comes on the early news at WKYT with a slick presentation patting themselves on the back for some scam they solved, usually involving an old fool thinking he has to pay somebody to collect the lottery money he won in the lottery he didn't enter.
These Postal Inspector shows must cost a fortune to produce. They are set up to make it look like the local anchor is doing the story, instead of reading the script he has been sent. After a few years of these stories, they get as boring as the lead story in the news, which nowadays is always the weather. The price of stamps would go down if we didn't have to hear the same stuff over and over.
Like we have to so we can hear the music on Woodsongs, which is supposed to pay tribute to creativity, but on which the host says exactly the same thing, down to the word, week after week, now going into 700 episodes, following which there might be some decent music. It makes you want to switch over to the Postal Inspectors.
Other boring television includes the perpetual ads in which the Democrat is portrayed as Obama's bedmate, to which the Democrat retaliates by line dancing with Republicans on issues involving coal and the environment. By doing that, the Democrat dampens whatever enthusiasm his party may have had for him.
If radio personality Matt Jones crosses Andy Barr and runs as a real Democrat with no apologies, then we might go back to a two-party system in Kentucky. Besides, there is a lot to be said about smart-aleck, quippy lawyers.
Speaking of which, Hillary Clinton's real problem is that she is too much a lawyer. Those of us privileged to interact with them see in her central casting's big-firm defense attorney, with a sense of entitlement, and a skill at organizing for the wrong reasons, namely to stonewall and minimize inconvenient facts.
But the only way Joe Biden could beat her is if he had a sex change and renamed himself Josephine.
Reach Larry Webster, a Pikeville attorney at email@example.com.