Tie Rod is no presidential historian but he does have sense enough to realize that George W. Bush was the worst president ever.
That is becoming more apparent every day, as the United States struggles at home to get out of the depression he started and struggles abroad to find somebody just like Saddam Hussein to rule Iraq.
Saddam was executing a few people each week, far less than are being blown up by car bombs over there now. All Bush II did was to destroy the government of Iraq, disband the army, and get a few thousand young Americans killed for about nothing. Not to mention getting Americans to support his foolishness by lying to us about why we were attacking Iraq.
Tie Rod is getting a little nervous about ISIS because its fund-raising activity sort of reminds him of the Koch Brothers and also because he is not sure if he prefers Sunniism to Shiaism.
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He has always kind of admired Mohammed, who started Islam, for having nine wives when he died, something Tie Rod when he was younger would imagine, but now that he is older thinks is about nine too many.
But when he hears that ISIS is herding Christians onto a mountain to starve and kill, or that Muslims are kidnaping girls out of school and making them convert and marry, he thinks that is a little bit much.
Not that Tie Rod is overly religious. He goes to church some, uses its rituals because they are handy, and loves big church dinners on the grounds. But when he looks around the world at all the trouble that may someday kill us all, he mainly sees religious wars, and those are by and large false religions, that is to say, ones whose beliefs differ from Tie Rod's.
Some, like the one in Iraq, are intramural, with one sect of a religion fighting another to the death. Some, like the war in Gaza among Semite cousins, involve two distinct teams, skullcap vs. turban. Palestinian babies are getting killed by the hundreds because the religion of their enemy is said to entitle Israel to take land, water and olive trees from others, and America sends them the money to do it with. In the American press, all Palestinians are militants and all Israelis are patriots.
The only true Christians that Tie Rod has heard about are those health workers in Africa, who are literally dying to tend to people so sick that their disease makes leprosy seem desirable. These doctors and nurses are doing something that they know might kill them just to treat a disease that is said to have been caused originally when humans had sex with monkeys.
Tie Rod is not surprised that tobacco juice might cure ebola, because when he was a boy, about any wound or injury was treated by some old toothless man spitting amber onto it.
And he is proud of Owensboro for coming up with something beside of mutton barbecue, which Tie Rod will not eat because it tastes like sheep.
But if that tobacco serum doesn't work, the smart thing to do is to quickly shoot anybody suspected of having Ebola before they can get their body fluids onto the rest of us. We could always claim they were militants.
Reach Larry Webster, a Pikeville attorney, at email@example.com.