My friend Check Slone, like so many of his contemporaries, is a highly intelligent, uneducated man.
He once told me: "The reason I get in jail so much is that they ask me to say the alphabet back'ards. I tell 'em I can't say the alphabet front'ards."
Requiring potential voters to say the alphabet backwards is part and parcel of the new voting laws passed in the old South and designed to keep less than whites out of the voting booth, and passed the next day after our Supreme Court announced that no such thing could happen nowadays, and that the second year of Jubilo has arrived.
The laws requiring voter IDs are a solution in search of a problem.
Never miss a local story.
Nationwide, the proponents of such legislation, who declare that they want to stop voter fraud, have not been able to come up with a half dozen cases of somebody voting who is not who they say they are, and as the president of the North Carolina NAAC said, the only voter fraud is being foisted on minorities by redneck state legislatures.
These new laws limit early voting, something blacks do more; require photo identification, which blacks have less of, and do not let voters register on the same day as an election.
After the Civil War, blacks were tested on the Constitution, but even the Supreme Court might not like that, as many of its members might fail such a test.
This may backfire.
Telling somebody that you don't want them to vote is a good way to get them to the polls.
When President Barack Obama was elected the last time, aided by a surprising turnout among minorities, many attributed that turnout to the general disrespect shown America's first slightly black president by those Trump-ish fools who questioned his birth certificate and called him a Muslim socialist.
Red states better beware.
Minorities are growing fast, and if blacks take over a Southern legislature, may require whites to prove they can dance to vote. If Hispanics get a say, white voters would have to know the difference between all those Mexican restaurant foods which end in "illa."
If you ask me, Democrat candidates who are distancing themselves from Obama are getting what they deserve.
If, from the get-go, Democrats had merely defended — let alone celebrated — the fact that their president had pulled us out of two wars, kept a recession from becoming a depression, drove down the rate that health-care costs are rising and saw that millions had health insurance for the first time in their lives — if they had been prouder of those things and willing to challenge the miserable Bush years, then things might be different in the election which is coming up.
One thing is sure. When the Koch brothers buy somebody, they are pretty certain he will stay bought. That is the mark of integrity in the world of Citizens United.
Reach Larry Webster, a Pikeville attorney, at firstname.lastname@example.org.