So what's the holdup?
You know you want it. You know they want to give it you. In this day of the NFL Network and the MLB Network and the Big Ten Network and ESPN all but becoming the SEC Network, isn't it time that the Big Blue Network goes 24-7?
After all, if Kentucky basketball needs an hour-long television show to reveal its 2009-10 basketball schedule, something that was previously and sufficiently covered in a one-page press release, surely around-the-clock UK sports programming can't be too farfetched.
I've got some ideas for pilots:
Kentucky's Most Wanted: Athletics Director Mitch Barnhart and top lieutenant Rob Mullens scour the country in search of victims, er, non-conference opponents so that the football Cats can continue their historic string of bowl appearances.
Meet the Tweets: Local media sit down with new UK basketball coach John Calipari, who answers every question in 140 characters or less. Those wanting more detailed explanations must pay the $59.95 yearly fee for a "Player" membership at CoachCal.com.
Calipari Curb Appeal: Construction crews work to transform the empty lot next to the Caliparis' new Richmond Road home into an inviting playground for swimming, tennis and, thanks to a wall, needed privacy.
The Real Bachelor of Graford, Texas: Billy Gillispie returns to his hometown in Texas to see what an entire year without a basketball team to coach is really like.
Lexington Legal: A group of local attorneys take on their toughest case yet — how to make UK's contract, er, memorandum of understanding, with Gillispie look like it's not a contract. At stake is $6 million. William Shatner guest stars.
True Kentucky Story: Compelling and shocking story of ex-UK coach Rick Pitino, who left Lexington only to find failure in the pros, moderate success at Louisville, and a restaurant side dish that has given him nothing but indigestion. Geraldo Rivera hosts.
Myth Busters: Each week, Rich Brooks identifies another task Kentucky football "hasn't done in a long time" and sets out to achieve that difficult goal. Protective goggles might be needed to watch this program.
Big Blue Entourage: Adventures of UK's new sextet of incoming basketball stars, who enroll for classes, learn the dribble-drive motion offense and set their DVRs to catch all the NBA programming available.
The Closer: On alternating weeks, Rich Brooks and John Calipari enter the home of a top recruit and attempt to close the deal. Recurring role for Worldwide Wes.
Victory Garden: Rich Brooks shows the fine art of growing tomatoes. Calipari drops by to show Rich how to use those tomatoes for a spicy pasta sauce.
Cat the Bounty Hunter: Each week bounty hunter "Cat" goes off in search of someone who has left the Kentucky program and tries to bring that person back home to justice. This week, it's to "Keep Austin Weird," Texas where "Cat" is on the hunt for Mickie DeMoss. Next week: Jodie Meeks.
Who wants to commit?: Panel of UK football coaches Rick Brooks, Joker Phillips, Randy Sanders, Steve Brown and recruiting coordinator Chuck Smith audition prospects for the next national-letter-of-intent day in hopes of finding the grid equivalent of Susan Boyle.
John and Ellen plus a Million plus Three: John and Ellen Calipari, plus their three kids, meet the commonwealth. Instead of paparazzi, it's the Big Blue Nation that keeps snapping pictures.
Mad Money: Athletics Director Mitch Barnhart and UK President Lee Todd spend each week counting the money bags they receive from the SEC home office in Birmingham. Mitch knows manners. Each week, he sits down and writes Mike Slive a thank you note.