Happy almost New Year. Wow, we’ve been through a lot. Let’s take a look back at 2016 and see how much of the silliness you remember. We’re not going to talk about Hillary. Too sad. But here’s an end-of-the-year quiz about:
Republicans We Once Knew
1. It’s been a long year for Chris Christie, but he made history when …
A) The National Governors Association voted him “Least Likely to Succeed.”
B) A Quinnipiac poll in New Jersey showed his job disapproval rating at 77 percent.
C) He did the tango on “Dancing With the Stars.”
2. Ted Cruz said that when his wife, Heidi, became first lady …
A) “She'll put prayer back in the prayer breakfast.”
B) “Michelle Obama’s garden will become a croquet court.”
C) “French fries are coming back to the cafeteria.”
3. Marco Rubio’s ad about how “It’s Morning Again in America” made news because …
A) It was an excellent depiction of why he is truly a Reagan conservative.
B) It was filmed in a way that made Rubio appear to be more than 6 feet tall.
C) It opened with a shot of the Vancouver, British Columbia, skyline.
4. In a debate, Ben Carson said that when a president vets potential Supreme Court nominees, he should consider …
A) “How they’d look in the group picture.”
B) “The fruit salad of their life.”
C) “Legal things.”
The Cabinet of Tomorrow
5. Rick Perry, Donald Trump’s nominee for secretary of energy …
A) Lost the paso doble competition to Vanilla Ice on “Dancing With the Stars.”
B) Came up with some new ideas for combating global warming.
C) Said his earlier reference to Trump’s campaign as “a barking carnival act” was simply “one of my ‘oops’ moments.”
6. Retired Gen. Jim Mattis, Trump’s selection for secretary of defense, is nicknamed …
A) Mad Dog.
B) Cranky Corgi.
C) Sullen Setter.
7. Linda McMahon, Trump’s pick to head the Small Business Administration, has known the president-elect a long time. McMahon’s husband. Vince, once paired with Trump in a …
A) Professional wrestling production in which Trump shaved off McMahon’s hair.
B) Build-the-Wall golf match in which they tried to see who could hit the most balls into Mexico.
C) Public service announcement warning young men about steroid abuse.
8. Trump’s choice for labor secretary, Andrew Puzder, is a fast-food franchise baron who once said …
A) “Vegetables are much more dangerous than people realize.”
B) “I like beautiful women eating burgers in bikinis. I think it’s very American.”
C) “Everybody has a minimum wage. Mine just happens to be $1 million a year.”
Trump, Trump, Trump
9. Trump won the Electoral College by one of the lowest margins in U.S. history and got nearly 3 million votes fewer than Hillary Clinton. Afterward, he referred to his victory as …
A) “God’s will.”
B) “A gift from the founding fathers.”
C) “A landslide.”
10. In a TV interview, Trump said that when he looks in the mirror he sees …
A) “Orange skin.”
B) “Fantastic hair.”
C) “A person that is 35 years old.”
11. Trump said he didn’t need a daily intelligence briefing because …
A) “I’m, like, a smart person.”
B) “The CIA is out to get me.”
C) “Putin’s people give me plenty of information.”
12. Trump’s doctor, who wrote the famous letter declaring Trump would be “the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency,” gave an interview in which he said it had never occurred to him that Trump, at 70, would be the oldest president-elect. But he added …
A) “70 is the new 41.”
B) “If something happens to him, then it happens to him. … That’s why we have a vice president and a speaker of the House and a whole line of people. They can just keep dying.”
C) “Bronzer keeps you young.”
And in other news …
13. In a Seattle suburb, Dane Gallion was so unnerved by stories of mass shootings that he armed himself before going to see the movie “13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi.” Watching the film with a handgun tucked into his waistband, Gallion …
A) Became a hero when a disturbed man waving a rifle walked into the auditorium.
B) Became a hero when he stopped an armed robbery at the snack bar.
C) Accidentally shot the woman sitting in front of him.
Answers: 1-B, 2-C, 3-C, 4-B, 5-A, 6-A, 7-A, 8-B. 9-C, 10-C, 11-A, 12-B, 13-C