Op-Ed

Supremacists may be ‘fine’ folks, but first give them DNA tests

New York newspapers on Wednesday report on the previous day’s press conference where President Donald Trump gave supportive statements on the alt-right, neo-Nazis and white supremacists at the melee in Charlottesville, Va.
New York newspapers on Wednesday report on the previous day’s press conference where President Donald Trump gave supportive statements on the alt-right, neo-Nazis and white supremacists at the melee in Charlottesville, Va. Tribune News Service

“Knock the crap out of him.”

That was candidate Donald Trump, who condemns violence on many sides, telling his supporters at a rally last year how to handle a protester who took exception to all the love that was being shared that evening. You remember, the love for immigrants, for Mexicans and for Muslims.

OK, maybe love isn’t the right word.

But he did sort of condemn the violence “on many sides” that occurred in Charlottesville, Va., when white supremacists, neo-Nazis, Ku Klux Klansmen (Is there a difference?) clashed with anti-fascist protesters. You know, the violence on many sides that killed an anti-fascist protester and injured at least 20 others.

If those silly anti-fascists had only worn helmets, flak jackets and carried baseball bats as the white supremacists did, maybe they wouldn’t have gotten hurt. If only they had driven Dodge Challengers instead of Prius hybrids, the violence on many sides wouldn’t have been so one-sided.

After all, those white supremacists are really fine people. President Trump said so at his Tuesday press conference on infrastructure at Trump Tower. “But you also had people that were very fine people on both sides …You had people in that group that were there to protest the taking down, of to them, a very, very important statue and the renaming of a park from Robert E. Lee to another name … And the press has treated them absolutely unfairly.”

Yeah, you know, those very fine people chanting, “You will not replace us. Jews will not replace us.”

Come to think of it, maybe Trump likes those white supremacists. He did take a few of them to the White House with him. And, hey, I think they like him, too. Former KKK grand wizard David Duke said so.

In fact, white supremacists are fine people who are ready to do whatever Trump says. Like patrol the streets, take over newspaper offices, town halls and universities, along with Russian agents, when those bloodhounds working for Special Counsel Robert Mueller indict the president for obstruction of justice.

We better hedge our bets and learn to goose step. There’s going to be a new day a-coming. We won’t need to bother with elections, such as the 2020 presidential that a majority of Republicans in a recent poll said they would support postponing, if Trump suggested it.

I don’t have to worry. Those white supremacists will love me. For one thing, I’m white. And I’m German, as far back as the 1600s on both sides of the family. They love Germans, especially the ones who lived between 1933 and 1945. Not so much the ones today, particularly Chancellor Angela Merkel who condemned the violence in Charlottesville before our own president did.

I even had an uncle in who served in the Wafen Schutzstaffel (SS) in World War II. As painful as that is to admit publicly, the white supremacists will love it.

Just forget that Dad’s German side of the family fought for America against Mom’s German side in World Wars I and II. Irony isn’t anything if not ironic.

Dang, there’s just one little glitch. OK, two. I took an Ancestry DNA test, just to confirm what I already knew, that I’m pure German. But, surprise, I’m not pure German. According to my DNA test, I’m 13 percent African. Wow, how’d that happen?

That’s more than enough to get drummed out of the New Confederate Army straight to the brig. Glitch number two? I’m also 11 percent East Asian. Uh oh, I just went from the brig to an internment camp.

Go ahead, lock me up. God made sure love ultimately trumps hate. Somewhere, long ago, two very different people, from very different places, my ancestors, got together and shook my family tree down to its roots. No more pure Aryan ancestry.

I think the white supremacists ought to take DNA tests, too.

That’s the thing about repressing people who you think are different than you: Scratch the surface, and you’ll find out you’re one of them.

Henry Riekert, a former community columnist, lives on his Jessamine County farm. Reach him at hriekert@aol.com.

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