Op-Ed

Kentucky voices: If we sold horses the same way as used cars ...

Renee Logan waits to show a yearling Sunday in advance of this week's January Horses of All Ages sale at Keeneland.
Renee Logan waits to show a yearling Sunday in advance of this week's January Horses of All Ages sale at Keeneland. ©2012 Herald-Leader

Bankruptcy, bad credit, divorce? No Problem! Skip Keeneland's January sale and come on down to Larky Boy's Northside Thoroughbreds where we want to put YOU on a horse TODAY!

Stallions, mares, colts, fillies and foals: You name it, we've got it! Literally HUNDREDS to choose from!

Chestnut yearlings? Got 'em!

Seal brown weanlings? Got 'em!

Grays, blacks and bays? GOT 'EM!

At Larky Boy's Northside Thoroughbreds our inventory changes daily, but one thing stays the same: "We've got the steed breed with the speed you need to succeed!"™

Yeehaw!

So gallop on down to Lexington's largest buy-here-pay-here horse dealership where, now through the end of January, we're offering GUARANTEED CREDIT APPROVAL!

WHAT!?

You heard right, folks. GUARANTEED CREDIT APPROVAL now through the end of January with valid ID and proof of income. If the Larky Boy can't get you approved, I'll send you back to the stables with a NEW, 36-INCH LCD TV just for trying. Sweet!

Also, for a limited time only, bring in your W-2 and we'll put your 2011 tax refund toward the purchase of any new-to-you animal. Try that at Keeneland and Bucky the Bugler will throw burgoo in your face.

And we haven't even reached the homestretch yet!

Larky Boy's Northside Thoroughbreds is proud to offer an industry-first, nose-to-tail, 400-furlong Winner's Circle™ warranty on every horse that trots off our lot. You get peppermints FOR LIFE! Salt licks FOR LIFE! Access to our certified team of farriers FOR LIFE!

Plus, act now and a little Argentinian man will braid your horse's tail while he sings it a folk song. Dang!

And let those Keeneland bluebloods keep their superstar sires and diva dams. Saddle up to savings and check out the Poor Man's Paddock™ at Larky Boy's Northside Thoroughbreds where you can take one of our "also rans" for a test ride.

Current long-shots include the pedigree-impaired Uncharismatic, Secretary, Alysheba Cat Food, Idiot Jones, Really Really Really Quiet and a 15-year-old gelding named Brandon.

But don't let the names fool you. After all, in this business "one horsepower is all you'll ever need!"™

So, do yourself a big favor and scratch the 2012 Keeneland January Horses of All Ages sale, give yourself a big shot of Lasix, and race on down to Larky Boy's Northside Thoroughbreds, Lexington's "mane" source for quality, pre-owned horses for the past six days.

Odds are you'll finish in the money every time!

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