Progress report: South, saints, Rupp, recruits | Lexington Herald Leader

There are signs of progress. They actually tried a white man in the South for killing a black man.

But the South stopped there after that slight retreat, stood its ground and affirmed its right to deal with people who leave the cabins and go walking up around the big house after dark. Trayvon Martin's demise might well be blamed on Rocky Balboa and that hood.

The case does bring up some questions. Do you have to have a license? Is there a limit? Is there a season? Are males legal sometimes when females are not? Are they actually going to let black people use that same law? Wouldn't that be dangerous?

In other news, we are about to have our first Speedi-Saint, who is not being marched but galloped into sainthood. That was made possible by the discovery of the second miracle, revealed when that woman from Omaha called in and told them about the time she prayed to Pope John Paul II and found her car keys.

Over at the Old Popes Home, Pope Emeritus Benedict sits, I imagine, in bib overalls and maybe a regular hat, really liking not being pope. They ought to consider term limits.

I am unclear on just what saints are for. If somebody dies and we make them a saint, does their status in heaven improve? Is heaven a hierarchy? Some German mathmetician proved that in a hierarchy no level can understand the level above it. Does this mean that we will spend eternity in heaven wondering about the higher-ups?

Or can we actually pray to a saint? Do we get a pass on the First Commandment if we worship a saint? Are saints the "other gods" that are not to be put before? If you are not careful, you will end up with tens of thousands of deities, like India, where you have to have a program.

Meanwhile Edward Snowden, a low-level government employee in whom was vouched safe all government secrets, is appealing to the world to be rescued from the cruel and inhuman punishment of having to stay at the airport too long.

Is he trying to sleep on those terminal seats? Where is his laptop?

Is he being guarded in a cave by hundreds of little guys in elevator operator suits with no hoodies? Some of us hope Eddie tells all he knows.

Closer to home, they are going to change Rupp Arena so that its looks less like a truck garage, and put some places in it so the rich will not feel so uncomfortable, yet close enough so that they can see the bottom half of the bench seethe over lack of playing time.

Meanwhile, a sonogram operator tipped off Coach Cal about an unusually long fetus which was immediately offered a scholarship for the 2031 season. It seems like one of these seasons coming up we get some twins and some other people with names that just sound like they could play ball.

It's hard to remember the names of these one and done'ers. We Kentucky fans are like foster parents. About the time you get to know the kids, they are gone.

I do hate to see us get too good of a football team. What little humility Kentucky has came from football, just like what little pride some of those other states has came from it.

Reach Larry Webster, a Pikeville attorney, at websterlawrencer@bellsouth.net.