Op-Ed

E. Ky. welcomes murder film, stick maker, zebras

In a movie recently filmed in Kentucky, Game of Thrones star Emilia Clarke plays Susan Daniels Smith, an informant who had an affair with FBI agent Mark Putnam.
In a movie recently filmed in Kentucky, Game of Thrones star Emilia Clarke plays Susan Daniels Smith, an informant who had an affair with FBI agent Mark Putnam. HBO

They are looking everywhere for Pikeville, but can’t find it. Either that or the filmmakers didn’t think Pikeville was a fitt’n place for the Dragon Lady, and upgraded to Harlan.

Some old coot got on a real long drunk in Harlan and woke up and ventured into the street to find a dream come true — his town had been transformed to Old Pikeville. It’s a credit to Harlan that they still have some old buildings.

Some of Pikeville was force-marched to Paris, so the movie could have a more authentic Pike County Courthouse, even though the very one that former FBI agent Mark Putnam got fined in for accidentally strangling somebody who they say was real pretty but you can’t prove it by the picture — even though that courthouse still stands, with the only difference a few extra war dead on the plaque.

Even Hollywood will find it challenging to portray an accidental strangling.

While she is here, in her spare time, the stranglee, you know, Mrs. Khal, maybe they could get her over to to Hazard and put on a summer drama reenacting the fire at the Combs Hotel and have the Dragon Lady walk out nekkid. I would go.

The few of you who have been allowed to know your native music knew that Roscoe Holcomb, of nearby Daisy, sang years ago about the fire at the Combs Hotel, a sadder fire with loss of life, including the song says, a salesman. Olivia could pick either fire for the play. She looks good in or out of old-timey clothes.

I would hate to have to buy fire insurance for a stick factory. But there is nothing like a stick factory to boost the morale of a community. Union College announced a new major in Stick Making. The community college will offer an associate’s degree in Whittling. To lure this business to whichever of the three counties Corbin is in, the stick people don’t have to pay taxes and the city will be renamed The Sticks.

They do want to hire good people to protect those sticks. “Our Sticks Don’t Grow On Trees” is the company slogan. But each of us is certain that whatever kind of trees they want to buy will not be on our property, but more likely on some rich guy’s place or company property.

Now, the other economic opportunity is zebras. Our old friend Joan Potter has introduced the zebra to Pike County.

There will be a painting of that. Joan, at the Floyd County line. That zebra, standing upright on its hind legs, Joan with her right arm on the zebra’s shoulder and the left arm in a sweep, introducing that zebra to Pike County.

All we have to do is keep them warm in the winter and teach them how to kill elk and maybe they will survive. As we domesticate zebras we need to teach them not to be offended when they are called “Ref” by some angry spectator.

Reach Larry Webster at websterlawrencer

@bellsouth.net.

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