It’s not easy being a grandparent, but somebody’s got to tell those kids who to hate.
When my grandparents were teaching me hatred you only had to hate colored people and Russians, and maybe every now and then a merchant.
You would hate gentile and non-gentile merchants alike. We kind of hated the Japanese, but, hell, they did give up.
It was pretty easy to hate colored people until we started being around them. About the only reason left to hate one now is if he starts reminding you what you did to his people. Nobody wants to hear that.
But, to steal a thought from Lily Tomlin — or did Jane think this up — nowadays, no matter how much energy you put into hatred, you can never keep up.
And teaching it is never easy. For example, how do you explain to a six-year-old that you hate North Koreans but not South Koreans, but not to eat any of their food (arf!) and we will just see how may miles those cars will run.
Do we just teach our grandchildren to hate only the Arabs whose land Israel is wanting, or do we just hate all Arabs and call them all like they used to in the mountains?
But there is no way on Earth we could hate the Kurds. We grandparents watch the news, but its hard to remember from day to day whether we hate Iraq or not. I think we just hate some of it’s ways.
And that brings Pap Paw and Mam Maw to the urgent task of stoking up hurried hatred for Iran, whom we are going to fight some day because Israel wants us to. We know that from those Israeli infomercials starring Benjamin Netanyahu, whose demands on our president coincide with the Bible.
I’m not sure which section of the Bible authorizes a foreign county to send spies to gather dirt on American diplomats who were trying to prevent a war, but all that has to happen before the Second Coming anyway.
I guess we need to go back to teaching our progeny to hate Russia, but they have pumped a lot of money into our economy and have produced a Great Leader for us. They even invested a half-million dollars to assist the Great Leader in paying his bills.
As for you Stormy: Shut up. You took that money to keep your mouth shut. If you buy an honest person, they stay bought.
Much more delicate, does a grandparent teach one of those perfect little branches of the family tree to hate conservatives? To hate liberals? The answer is yes, you do.
If there is critical mass of people with little enough sense of what it means to be an American, little enough principle to repudiate that which is wrong and willing to take the political Kool-Aid and elect and idolize an uninformed megalomaniac who may be a Russian spy, then I say you really need to hate those people and teach your children well.
Hatred is essential to successful evolution and successful combat. We are going to have to fight all of the above and we want the bearers of our genes to win. They will fight harder if they hate enough.
Reach Larry Webster at firstname.lastname@example.org.