A wooly worm told me we were going to have a very bad winter. He said the reason he knew is that humans were cutting a lot of wood. But there is much to cheer us as we huddle by the fire.
One of the things has to do with building fire. It was discovered that mountain stream water, while not drinkable, is excellent to start a fire with.
For another, they caught those two guys in New Hampshire who were for Rand Paul. It seems less likely that we will have a president named Randy. He was doing fine early on when he was promoting the legalization of drugs and talking some sense about Israel, but has faded personally as those positions have moderated. You can't talk sense about Israel and stay in politics.
In state politics, polls suggest that the voters of Kentucky may be rejecting the concept of primogeniture. For those who do not know what that means, it means when a governor leans on special interests to donate a couple million dollars so that his son can get on the governor track himself.
This idea of dynasty, or political brands, gets us yet another Bush, more and more Kennedys, and Chelsea to look forward to if we elect her mom. New polls show that Beshear the Younger is being tied in his race for attorney general by somebody named Westerfield and we don't know who his daddy is. That will warm us this fall.
We are practically assured that our new lieutenant governor will be a woman. There are two choices. One is a self-made woman, who, like a lot of self-made people, is overly proud of what she had made. If she wins and gets on the governor track, she may become the first black woman from Detroit ever elected governor of Kentucky. We don't know much about her opponent, other than that stray "S" on the front of her name and that she will slap you if you put your hand on her leg.
The "debate" between those two women was more boring than watching a moth eat the drapes. Almost as boring as watching the Cincinnati Reds lose 98 games. The odd thing is, next year Reds attendance will probably double from Kentuckians at the game, if Oh-High-Oh votes to legalize the recreational use of marijuana. This will slow down the game of baseball to a more watchable pace. But it will be a lot easier on the guy selling joints in the stands during the game than it was when he had to wag a case of Hudepohl around.
There is more winter cheer than just the above. School scores showed that mountain people were smarter than you thought, especially if they live in independent school districts. The state's worst school, not surprisingly, has the state's most famous basketball coach.
We were also pleased to know that Louisville basketball players have access to sex. You wonder if those handsome young men with rippling muscles and expectations of multi-million dollar NBA contracts could get a woman at all. Will this scandal bring closure to the Rick Pitino era?
Remember, there are two kinds of people in the world, those who demand closure...
Reach Larry Webster, a Pikeville attorney at email@example.com.