Mark Story

Mark Story: Alabama football or UK basketball?

Some say Alabama is the "Kentucky basketball" of SEC football programs.

Others say Kentucky is the "Alabama football" of SEC basketball programs.

I say it's time for one of our games of compare and contrast to see which team reigns supreme.

Kentucky basketball: Seven NCAA championships — all won on the court.

Alabama football: Twelve national championships — most of which are mythical results from sportswriter votes or power rankings.

Advantage: Kentucky basketball.

Alabama football: Three NCAA sanctions for rules-breaking since 1950.

Kentucky basketball: Four NCAA sanctions for rules-breaking since 1950.

Advantage: Alabama football.

Kentucky basketball: The Emery Air Freight package.

Alabama football: Phil Fulmer.

Advantage: Alabama football (more fun to have a human to vilify than an express-mail envelope).

Alabama football: The Man in the Houndstooth Hat.

Kentucky basketball: The Man in the Brown Suit.

Advantage: Even.

Kentucky basketball: Since Adolph Rupp retired, has had five head coaches combine to win 75.6 percent of their games with 16 SEC (regular season) titles and three national championships.

Alabama football: Since Bear Bryant retired, has had seven head coaches combine to win 63.9 percent of their games with three SEC titles and one national championship.

Advantage (big advantage): Kentucky basketball.

Alabama football: Drew 92,138 fans to the "A-Day" spring game in 2007.

Kentucky basketball: Drew 24,000 fans to the Big Blue Madness "practice" in 2007.

Advantage: Alabama football.

Kentucky basketball: Ashley Judd — UK's number one celebrity cheerleader.

Alabama football: Sela Ward — both a celebrity and actually a former Crimson Tide cheerleader.

Advantage: Even.

Alabama football: "Rammer, Jammer, Yellow Hammer! Give 'em Hell Alabama!"

Kentucky basketball: "Go Big Blue!"

Advantage (big advantage): Alabama football.

Kentucky basketball: Billy Gillispie agreed to seven-year, $16.1 million contract.

Alabama football: Nick Saban agreed to eight-year, $32 million contract.

Advantage: Kentucky basketball (getting its coaching for half the price)

Alabama football: Joe Namath.

Kentucky basketball: Pat Riley.

Advantage: Alabama (better to have a player instrumental in a pro sports league's history than a coach).

Kentucky basketball: Hired Tubby Smith.

Alabama football: Didn't hire Sylvester Croom.

Advantage: Kentucky basketball.

Alabama football: For $24.95, you can relive the past by purchasing a houndstooth hat on the Internet.

Kentucky basketball: For $24.95, you can relive the past by purchasing a 1978 men's basketball national championship DVD on the Internet.

Advantage: Alabama football.

Kentucky basketball: Streak that makes fans retch is 10 years straight without a Final Four trip.

Alabama football: Streak that makes fans retch is six years straight without a victory over Auburn.

Advantage: Alabama football (negative streak is four years shorter).

Alabama football: Rich Rodriguez turned down head coaching job.

Kentucky basketball: Billy Donovan turned down head coaching job.

Advantage: Kentucky basketball (less embarrassing to be turned down by a two-time national championship coach than one with no titles).

Alabama football: Current marquee player is Terrence "Mount" Cody, the 6-foot-5, 365-pound nose tackle who has "slimmed down" from 420 pounds.

Kentucky basketball: Current marquee player is Patrick Patterson, the McDonald's All-American who turned down Duke and Florida then played better than his hype once in Lexington.

Advantage: Kentucky basketball.

The final outcome: Awarding one point for each category advantage, two points for "big" advantages and a half-point for ties, Alabama football beats Kentucky basketball 9-8.

The Bear gets the last laugh on The Baron.

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