Keep aliens off our planet

The Herald-Leader reported the existence of 1,284 planets orbiting other stars, including nine that could be Earth-like. I do not want aliens from another galaxy visiting Earth.

Set aside concerns that they may think our human tongues a delicacy, or may need to inhabit our bodies while they adjust to our gravity or learn our jobs. We humans have enough difficulty surviving Earth-based parasites. What chance do we have against alien “bugs”?

We treat our dog for ticks and fleas, but our vet does not stock anti-alien pet pestilence treatments. As the dad of a 19-year-old, I have enough to adjust to without imagining intergalactic dating formalities. As for communicable diseases, I won’t go there. But what if part of their life cycle involves, like our own Amazonian catfish, candiru, invading and maturing in my urethra?

Not gonna volunteer, no matter the consequence for intergalactic fellowship. What if they smell bad or emit flames? I don’t want them setting our leather furniture on fire. We don’t need their spacecraft exhaust further exacerbating global warming, which they may already be causing in preparation.

Some aliens may be good, some even holy. Personally, I am leaning toward a galactic fence.

This story was originally published May 19, 2016 at 5:53 PM with the headline "Keep aliens off our planet."