Valentine's eve is Friday the 13th. Coincidence? We think not
It is the calendar's funny little trick that a Saturday Valentine's Day is always preceded by Friday the 13th, just a little cosmic reminder that most of us are unlucky in love plenty of times before we find happily ever after. Even then, it doesn't always turn out so great — see War of the Roses (1989).
Through the decades — lo, centuries — love gone wrong has been fodder for artists. It could be a bad match, it could be the fates (or families, or icebergs, or psychosis) intervening. But this meeting of red letter days on the calendar prompted the LexGo Central crew to contemplate some of our favorite examples of love gone wrong in popular culture.
MOVIES
Better Off Dead (1985). John Cusack's girlfriend dumps him, leaving him suicidal. Things turn out well in the end, but there are great moments about the indignities of getting dumped, including a scene where his car radio only plays songs like Breaking Up is Hard to Do and She's Gone, so he chucks it out the window. Rich Copley
Brokeback Mountain (2005). The signature line, "I wish I knew how to quit you," spoke volumes about the doomed love of two cowboys in the mid-20th century American West. RC
Citizen Kane (1941). You don't even have to watch the whole movie. Watch a love story blossom into marriage and decline into muted hatred in a little over three minutes on YouTube as Orson Welles and Ruth Warrick get together over the breakfast table. Cheryl Truman
Casablanca (1942). The immortal love story of good and slightly corrupt people against Nazis asks the question: What if you forgot to tell your new beau that oops, you were married to a noted resistance hero who had been presumed dead? For a retelling with a modern twist, see the Jan. 31 Saturday Night Live hosted by J.K. Simmons, in which Kate McKinnon is a more pragmatic Ilsa. CT
Double Indemnity (1944). Fred McMurray murders Barbara Stanwyck's husband for love and insurance money so they can run away together. Then they shoot each other. Randy Medema
Fatal Attraction. (1987). A weekend fling with Glenn Close seemed like a good idea, until it wasn't. RC
Edward Scissorhands (1990). The heart wants what the heart wants, but if you fall in love with a man who literally will rip you to shreds if he touches you, it might not be the best life choice. Mary Meehan
Gone with the Wind (1939). "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn" says it all. RM
Maurice (1987). The film, based on the novel by E. M. Forster, chronicles the affair of college chums played by James Wilby and Hugh Grant. When a friend is arrested and sentenced to six months hard labor after soliciting sex from a soldier, Grant breaks with Wilby and marries a woman. A devastated Wilby cries out in despair, "What's gonna happen to me?" RM
Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005). When international assassins Jane and John (Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt) hit a rough patch in their marriage, they try to kill each other, reconsider, and instead kill an army of extras. Their marriage is solidified, but there's a big-box store that will never be the same. CT
On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969). Until Casino Royale (2006), no other James Bond movie had a sad ending except George Lazenby's one turn as the super spy. He was the only one to get married too, but right after their nuptials, Blofeld killed Tracy Bond (Diana Rigg) in a roadside attack, and the heartbreak was palpable. RC
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith (2005): Falling in love with Darth Vader is not the path to long term happiness. RM
Titanic (1997). Jack and Rose hail from different sides of the tracks, and probably wouldn't have met if they weren't on the same ship. Unfortunately, they picked the wrong boat. RC
Torch Song Trilogy (1988). Harvey Fierstein stars as a New York City female impersonator. His lover, played by Matthew Broderick in his buff Ferris Bueller era, is killed in a hate crime. RM
MUSIC
Before He Cheats, Carrie Underwood. Has Louisville Slugger had a better promotion that Underwood's revenge fantasy about going to town on her ex's "pretty little souped up four-wheel drive," while he's in a bar pursuing his next conquest? RC
Blank Space, Taylor Swift. "Cause darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream." Give the woman points for satirizing her own media image as a serial dater who loves 'em, leaves 'em and writes a hit song about it. Blank Space promises, "You can tell me when it's over, if the high was worth the pain." RC
(Forget) You, Cee Lo Green. Whether you listen to the original or the radio edit, Cee Lo's point is clear. RC
Escape (The Pina Colada Song), Rupert Holmes. In this cheese-tastic ode to afternoon drinking and infidelity a man looks to the personal ads to cheat on his "lady," and soon finds she's doing the exact same thing when she answers his ad. So it seems like it turns out OK, but still, they were planning to cheat. So, good luck you two. MM
Goodbye Earl, The Dixie Chicks. Wanda settled for Earl, and he started beating her two weeks after they god married. She divorced him. He stalked her and beat her again. So Wanda and Mary Ann, do what besties do: poison Earl and wrap him up in a tarp. Never has love gone wrong and vengeful murder sounded so upbeat. MM
Half of Everything, Lloyd Cole. Not only did you have a nasty breakup, now your friend shows up with her lipstick all over his face. To a dramatic, orchestral score, he warns, "Mister, read the writing on the wall. Get out while you're still whole." RC
I Will Always Love You, Whitney Houston. Dolly Parton wrote it about her professional split with Porter Wagoner, but it took Whitney Houston's pipes to make it a monster hit. Sometimes you get so caught up in her voice, you forget the song is about a person bowing out of a relationship. RC
In the Lonely Hour, Sam Smith. Racking up four Grammys for this effort was something of an appropriate way to start this Friday the 13th-Valentine's week. Like Adele's 21 in 2011, this hit album was almost wholly inspired by a really bad breakup. Hopefully Smith's ex-boyfriend doesn't try to sue him for royalties like Adele's ex did. RC
She's Already Made Up Her Mind, Lyle Lovett. The long, tall Texan nails the experience of being broken up with almost too well. RC
Thanks for Nothing, Rosemary Clooney. You feel like you're in the doghouse just looking at Clooney's glare off the cover of this album that includes songs like Hello Faithless and All Alone. RC
Un-break My Heart, Toni Braxton. The most amazing thing about this performance is she makes you believe someone would leave Toni Braxton. RC
STAGE
Madama Butterfly. Giacomo Puccini, opera. We could load this section with operas, because if it's not a fun little Mozart or Rossini romp, it's probably a tragedy, and love probably has something to do with it. It doesn't get much sadder than this story of a naive Japanese courtesan who thinks she has found love with a U.S. Navy captain, only to discover he's really married with no intention of taking her and their child to America. So, in a swirl of soaring notes, she commits ritual suicide. RC
Romeo and Juliet. William Shakespeare, play. The ultimate teenagers-in-love tale about kids who would rather die than be apart. And since their families hate each other, they do. RC
TV
How to Get Away With Murder. Viola Davis plays a lawyer and law professor who discovers her husband may have murdered his pregnant girlfriend. The scene in which Davis removed her wig and makeup and confronted her cheating spouse was riveting. RM
Scandal. Who wants to sleep with President Grant? Apparently not the first lady, the delightfully acidic Mellie. But Olivia Pope will always love him, but maybe not more than her vats of wine and her stunning wardrobe and her side hunk, Jake. CT
Transparent. The critically-adored Amazon Studios series about a family with a transitioning male-to-female dad (Jeffrey Tambor) is an encyclopedia of every way love can go wrong: Maybe your husband has discovered he wants to be a woman. Maybe your husband dies after a soul-draining illness. Maybe you're a guy whose wife figures out that she is a lesbian. Maybe you're a guy who cannot commit to anyone, ever, for longer than the duration of a sexual act. Maybe you're the bratty baby of the family looking for ways to shock. Try a Transparent marathon for Valentine's Day: You'll soon be looking for a monastery in which to hide from all the messy, full-volume love. CT
BOOKS
Geography of the Heart by Fenton Johnson. The Kentucky native chronicles his love for Larry Rose, who died of AIDS complications while the couple were vacationing in France. RM
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. It's your standard love story, if Machiavelli were doing the telling: Boy meets girl. Boy marries girl. Boy betrays girl. Girl devises rollercoaster-intricate plot to show boy who is boss, because she is (a) smarter and (b) amoral. No one gets flowers or chocolate or even a nice prix fixe dinner in the end, although the bashing of a skull is enthusiastically discussed. CT
Presumed Innocent by Scott Turow. Gone Girl is something of a variation on Turow's first novel, which details how a wife murders her husband's mistress and then frames him for it. RM
Jewel in the Crown by by Paul Scott. Hari Kumar, an Indian, is raised in the U.K. He returns to India and falls in love with Daphne Manners, an Englishwoman. When she is raped by hooligans, Hari is blamed and jailed by policeman Ronald Merrick who is also wooing Daphne. RM
This story was originally published February 12, 2015 at 12:54 PM with the headline "Valentine's eve is Friday the 13th. Coincidence? We think not."