‘All our grief stayed six feet away.’ Pamela Brown pens op-ed on losing mom Phyllis George
As she mourned the passing of former Kentucky First Lady Phyllis George in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, George’s daughter, Pamela Brown, says she became overwhelmed by anxiety.
And Brown said she hopes that by sharing her story, she can help fulfill one of George’s last wishes: to help other people.
George, a former Miss America and groundbreaking sportscaster who was divorced from former governor John Y. Brown, was 70 years old when she died in May at University of Kentucky Chandler Hospital.
In a heartfelt opinion piece published on CNN.com, Pamela Brown describes the weeks leading up to the death of her mother — and the crippling anxiety that followed.
Brown, who is CNN’s senior White House correspondent, wrote that she and her brother Lincoln traveled to Kentucky to help care for George after George’s caregiver went into quarantine early this spring. George had developed a rare blood disorder decades earlier, and doctors decided she needed a procedure that Brown said was hoped would prolong her life.
With COVID-19 spreading, she and her brother were forced to drop George off at the hospital alone when the time for the procedure came, Brown wrote.
“Hours later, our worst nightmare came true: Her blood pressure plummeted from an internal bleed doctors couldn’t locate,” Brown wrote.
After hours of anxious waiting, she said doctors were able to stabilize George, but she later slipped into a coma and was transfered to UK, where she later died.
“That month was full of emotional FaceTime conversations over the doctor’s phones, telling her to keep fighting; early morning wakeup calls from nurses telling us her oxygen dropped; and excruciating expanses of time in between, waiting for a call from the doctor or calling the hospital for updates,” Brown wrote.
She said she and her brother were able to be with George to “say our final goodbye, our masks soaked in tears while we sang, ‘You Are My Sunshine’ — her favorite song and one she used to sing to my son.
“There would be no grieving through comforting hugs of loved ones after our loss. All our grief stayed six feet away.”
Brown wrote that recently the story of Hina Patel, a pharmacist who lost her father to COVID-19, resonated with her.
Late last month, Brown had an emotional on-air interview with Patel in which they talked about losing their parents and Patel urged people to take precautions to prevent the spread of the virus.
“Hina and I both lost one of our parents this year under different circumstances, but we also shared the compounding pain Covid has created,” Brown wrote.
She said George’s passing was the beginning of a serious inner struggle.
“For me, losing my mom amid the challenges of the pandemic made me feel unmoored, like I had lost my anchor in life and I was adrift in the ocean,” Brown wrote.
At the same time, she was caring for a newborn, and she said “it didn’t take long for severe postpartum anxiety to set in, from the confluence of emotional rollercoasters, fluctuating hormones and sleep deprivation.
“I had experienced anxiety to some extent before, but now it was as though suddenly a faucet of obsessional worries was turned on in my brain.”
Brown said she sought professional help for her anxiety and is overcoming it with the aid of other outlets, including meditation, running and talking about the problem with close friends.
“You’d be amazed by how much ‘confessing’ what you’re going through relieves the burden,” she wrote.
Brown closed with words of encouragement for others who are struggling: “My mom said the night before her surgery that all she wanted to do was gain her strength back so she could help people. My hope is that by sharing this story I can help her accomplish that and remind people we are all in this together. Even though this may feel like a difficult and lonely time, you are not alone, and it’s more than okay to ask for help.”
This story was originally published December 4, 2020 at 9:18 PM.
