After exhaustive analysis and a considerable dose of outside-the-box thinking, I believe I have found the solutions to the two most-pressing issues facing the University of Kentucky Athletics Department.
First, disband the football program. Problem No. 1 solved.
Second, put a roof on Commonwealth Stadium, thereby instantly creating an on-campus basketball facility. Problem No. 2 solved.
All hail to the new Calipari Coliseum!