AP Washington, Jan. 21:
“By a 5-4 majority, the conservative Supreme Court, with newly appointed Justice Pam Bondi, affirmed the legality of the Donald J. Trump Foundation’s copyright claim to the term ‘Mexico,’ allowing the charitable organization to demand royalties from the government of the country immediately south of Texas, now known as South North America.
“The U.S. government has humbly asked Dear Leader if he will use his windfall profits to pay for the new wall being constructed on land recently acquired by the Trump Corp., to which he replied, ‘We’re looking at that.’ When Prime Minister Trudeau of, um, Ottawa objected to the unfriendly takeover of his country’s other neighbor’s name, Benevolent Overlord reminded him that he bought the copyright to ‘Canada,’ too.
“Brilliant Godchild’s minions gathered in front of the Supreme Court and broke into a chorus of the new national anthem (the one he knows the words to), ‘Everything Is Beautiful.’
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“In other news, deep-water oil-drilling has resumed everywhere in the Gulf of Trump ...”