None of the proposed responses to the problem of the courthouse statues seems entirely satisfactory. Leaving them there, unchallenged, would be an affront to the African-American community; pulling them down would be too ISIS-like; and putting up a bunch of new statues to stand there and argue with them would be too expensive, and would inevitably result in even more bad art on the public square.
I have a $5 solution to this dilemma: red rubber noses. If John Hunt Morgan and John C. Breckinridge had red rubber noses, they’d instantly be rendered as benign as a pair of Wavy Gravy bookends. And just for good measure, I further propose that, as an homage to the LGBTQ community, the testicles of Black Bess, Morgan’s famously transgendered stallion, be painted shocking pink.
Problem solved. That was easy.
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