Hot off the grill

In the early 1940s, Bud and I would set up a row of toy rubber soldiers. Imagining them to be Nazis, we blew them away with our BB guns — ah, the thrill. Fortunately, we got over it. Like most folks, we grew up.

That was before the National Rifle Association became a political force. Yes, the NRA conducts safety programs and competitions, but are these activities sufficient to justify lobbying Congress to allow citizen access to unlimited numbers of rapid-fire assault weapons? However the NRA benefits its members and supporters, surely a key service is boosting a subjective sense of power and independence.

To further that sense, we should establish the National Grill Association. The NGA would guarantee our sacred right to bare arms and grill. It would prevent liberals from limiting the number of burgers and brats we flip per load of charcoal and, most importantly, never allow anyone to take away our Webers and Char Broils.

How about an NPMW, National Power Mower Association?

By the way, women can be just as macho with triggers, tongs and throttles as us real men.

This story was originally published December 1, 2017 at 6:12 PM with the headline "Hot off the grill."