Whale of an idea for CentrePointe

CentrePointe developers have for years looked in all the wrong places for a feasible real estate project when the solution is under their noses. Fill the pit with water and develop a Jonah and the Whale project to complement the Noah’s Ark being constructed in nearby Grant County.

Tourists could cap their Ark visit with a tour of the Whale, the highlight being a detailed guided tour of Jonah’s trip through the whale’s mouth and stomach.

A large café in the center of the stomach would serve the preferred food of the whale, non-human of course. An enclosure named the Rumble Room should be located adjacent to the café and feature Jonah and the Rumblers playing suitable music for the rumble two-step.

The pit is large enough to install a few extra aquatic attractions, such as an underwater mermaid ballet, a faux reef for snorkelers and dolphin rides for children.

An all-out effort should be made to include Donald Trump in the investment consortium. A beautiful, 20-foot-high barrier must be installed on the perimeter to keep out freeloaders and riffraff, so his expertise in fence construction would ensure the project’s success and enhance guests’ experience.

This story was originally published March 17, 2016 at 7:43 PM with the headline "Whale of an idea for CentrePointe."