GOP Address

Twelve score ago our fathers did not bring upon this continent a new nation dedicated to the proposition that some men are stupid, others have small hands or, gosh darn it, some just aren’t purdy.

Now we are engaged in a great test of whether this party so fractured can long endure fisticuffs and mudslinging.

We are met in this great arena and will dedicate a portion thereof as the final resting place of the GOP.

It is altogether fitting and proper that we should choose one little, irrelevant, small-fisted, stupid person over another. But in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. The mean-spirited who gave their blood have consecrated it far beyond any rational behavior.

The Republican Party (and world) will long remember what they did here. It is for us the rational and accepting of others to be dedicated to the unfinished work our forefathers fought so bravely for.

That we here highly resolve that this Grand Old Party did die in vain. That this nation shall have a new birth of enlightenment and that the government of the people, by the people and for the people shall not perish from the earth.

This story was originally published March 30, 2016 at 6:23 PM with the headline "GOP Address."