Support global warming? Then, he’s Kentucky’s guy

We have a presidential candidate who debated the merits of his genitals, urged Americans to watch a sex tape, caused millions of Americans to have to explain to their children for the first time what the “P” word means after CNN used in it prime time, threatened to imprison his opponent, hasn’t paid taxes since Clinton I and has the Russians desperate for him to win.

Naturally, such a candidate will carry Kentucky.

We are less Central American here in Kentucky. We don’t threaten to jail our opponents. We threaten to jail our opponent’s father.

He will carry Kentucky because he has promised to aid and abet global warming, which, really, is the one simple thing we Kentuckians ask our leaders to do. That’s not so much, is it?

That, and he is very entertaining.

My wife and I are enablers when it comes to loving to be entertained by presidential elections. We love a good show, especially me when there is sex to it. The only real difference this year between presidential politics and the midnight shows on Cinemax is that the breasts are better on the latter. But to be fair, what the candidate Tic Tacs up for is not being simulated.

One wonders if Tic Tacs are not the only white stuff going into that candidate. Those of us who are old enough and traveled enough know that when a person comes out sniffing, gets lockjaw, is real aggressive and after so long kind of tails off, that person, if elected president, will spend an inordinate amount of time visiting South American capitals. I’ll bet Barack Obama moves to Colorado.

That kind of talk that Trump handles may be locker-room talk, but only up to junior-high football lockers. Church people throughout Kentucky are falling down on each other to support Trump, out of principle, thereby displaying what the rest of us have thought, namely that they wouldn’t know a principle if it appeared before them in a burning bush.

So, don’t vote against Donald Trump because he is worthless. Vote against him because his party was willing to, and did, make the United States fail for eight years rather than acknowledge who won the last two presidential elections.

That’s the trouble. All this entertainment doesn’t mean anything. If one political party can keep the winning political party from putting its ideas into effect, if one party can clog up the machinery of government just so the other can be blamed for that failure, then we are much better off tuned to Cinemax.

You may even want to vote for Hillary Clinton because the “war on coal” was the right thing to do.

This story was originally published October 14, 2016 at 6:19 PM with the headline "Support global warming? Then, he’s Kentucky’s guy."