In life, as in Rook, even with a trump you can lose

If you think teaching a mule to play Rook is easy, think again. Just ask Tie Rod, who realized that if he could teach Old Buck to play Rook real well he would never have to work again. He is teaching Buck how to play without the ones. You can only expect so much from an ass.

It is going pretty good, mostly. Old Buck can bid pretty well and follow suit.

The hitch has been trying to get a mule to understand the concept of a trump. It is hard for that mule to grasp that a trump can overrule kings and queens of a different color even when they have led.

Old Buck is smart enough to go around the mountain, turn around at the end of the row and go back — or as Tie Rod calls it, halt, pivot and redirect — but he is having some difficulty in seeing that you can have a trump and still go set. Old Buck rarely goes set, in cards losing everything because you predicted way too much.

Old Buck, for a mule, has very little hubris and is conservative, as mules tend to be.

Following suit, a mule would suppose, is sticking with others of the same kind, pitching in what you are supposed to, not reneging. Reneging, a mule would also suppose, means that you are neging all over again; and Tie Rod cannot tell that mule what neging means.

Tie Rod figures that a rook is just another name for a crow. He used to have a crow that came around to get carrion. That crow’s name was Caw, at least that’s what the crow answered when Tie Rod asked its name. That crow quit coming around when Tie Rod ran out of carrion. But this has been a a bumper year for carrion, so Caw may come back.

Based on the success of Old Crow, and the fact that now is the golden age of whiskey, Tie Rod and Slemp are trying to get a license to open a distillery and make Old Rabbit, which they will advertise for people who don’t want to fly but just want to hop around a little.

The great accomplishment of mankind during their lives has been the enhanced quality of whiskey, which has all but replaced harmful tobacco in Kentucky.

But Tie Rod has been rooked many a time in the art of the deal. He wishes he had back all the money he lost getting in on the ground floor of various enrichment plans, having house parties to sell mink oil and stuff like that.

The words “time share” bring chills to his spine. He knows that he needs to learn how to make a deal and hopes that someday the president of the country will actually make one so we can all see how good he is at it.

But you take a mule to a couple of Rook tournaments and soon he doesn’t want to go back up on the mountain to halt, pivot and redirect.

This story was originally published November 3, 2017 at 10:19 PM with the headline "In life, as in Rook, even with a trump you can lose."