Never too late for a Lincoln, or a Tutu, to lead reconciliation

“We’re still fighting the Civil War.”

The stark sentence rang true, with issues piled on top of issues over the generations that have passed since the grays and blues pitted brother against brother in long, bloody battle.

The voice on my car radio belonged to author Darren Wang. He has spent many years reaching this conclusion as he researched thefiery female college graduate and abolitionist Mary Willis and Town Line, N.Y., near Buffalo — the only town north of the Mason-Dixon line to secede from the union.

Wang grew up in the house where Willis shielded runaway slaves seeking a new life in neighboring Canada. His book, “The Hidden Life of Northern Fires,” offers fresh perspective on the War between the States. It is Wang’s opinion that had President Abraham Lincoln lived longer, the work of reconstruction and reconciliation might have led America to a different place.

It’s the missing work of reconciliation — past and present — that rang true.

Wang pointed to the work of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa after apartheid as an example that, though not perfect, has made the kind of difference that moves a people forward.

My mind was still fixed on my the South African process and the similar Talking Together Seminars when the news of the latest version of war-like standoff followed the Wang interview.

Keurig, the coffee maker, pulled its advertising from Fox’s Sean Hannity show following his defense of an Alabama Senate candidate’s accused sexual misconduct with underage girls. Hannity’s followers are destroying their expensive single-cup coffee machines in protest, tossing them off the top of apartment houses. Meanwhile, a former Navy Seal’s Victory Coffees lines up to capitalize on the latest line of division and prove “Shark Tank” wrong for turning down his entrepreneurial efforts.

Coffee? We’re going to line up and shoot each other (and our own feet and morning routines) over coffee makers? What’s next to bring us to loudly stubborn, self-righteous opposition?

We do continue to fight a civil war, although we steadfastly refuse to acknowledge the ways in which it remains foundational to today’s behaviors. We’re about as far from reconciliation as can be. As a matter of fact, we are hugely distant from even an awareness that reconciliation has been missing.

There is a scarcity of willingness to do the work of reconciliation. There are formal and informal efforts both locally and nationally: Unlearn Fear and Hate; Talking Together; Christian-Muslim Dialogue; Lexington United Interfaith Encounters. Each has their ardent supporters.

The Lincoln and South African references, however, point to a larger picture: to establish a process under a trusted bipartisan leader to do the long, hard work of reconciliation.

In his first address to the Truth and Reconciliation Commission which he chaired, Archbishop Desmond Tutu pointed to the “corporate, nationwide process of healing, through contrition, confession and forgiveness.” He emphasized the “privilege” of being on the commission, “to assist our land, our people, to come to terms with our dark past, once and for all.”

His words hit at the heart of America today and bring a longing for rewinding the unforgiving clock of history to allow the guidance of Lincoln, as Wang suggests. Could it have been different? Could it still be different?

Tutu continued: “They say that those who suffer from amnesia, those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it. It is not dealing with the past to say facilely ‘let bygones be bygones.’ Our country, our society would be doomed to the instability of uncertainty — the uncertainty of not knowing when it will resurface. ... We are a wounded people because of the conflict of the past, no matter on which side we stood. We all stand in need of healing. ... Freedom and justice must become realities for all our people. We have the privilege of helping heal the hurts of the past, to transcend the alienations and the hostilities of the past and concentrate on the present and our glorious future.”

While continuing to hope for a Lincoln or a Tutu to lead a nationwide process, we must do all in our power from the grassroots to invite awareness, willingness and long-term choice for reconciliation in our country. This war needs to end.

This story was originally published November 16, 2017 at 2:49 PM with the headline "Never too late for a Lincoln, or a Tutu, to lead reconciliation."