Telling about abuse, harassment aids healing

I would like to respond to the column on sexual harassment by Kentucky writer Teri Carter. She states that “Telling is not cathartic or therapeutic. It is not the end, just another horrifying beginning.”

I am truly sorry that this has been her personal experience. It, unfortunately, is the initial reaction that many have after divulging to others. There is a desire to return to the secrecy.

However, living with shame and secrecy, and having no emotional outlet for these feelings, can cause depression, loneliness, feelings of self-disgust and isolation.

Thankfully, I can assure her that countless individuals who have told about their sexual abuse and/or sexual harassment have, ultimately, endorsed that telling was eventually cathartic and therapeutic.

Sexual abuse, specifically that which occurs in childhood, often involves a perpetrator who is a trusted adult, involves sexual activities that children are too young to understand and is shrouded in a climate of secrecy or threats.

Healing from any type of trauma requires acceptance, empathy and understanding. There needs to be an understanding of the nature of the abuse along with an understanding that the abuse or assault was not their fault but occurred because of disturbances of the perpetrator, family dysfunction or societal ills.

Further, there needs to be a processing of feelings of shame and blame and the ongoing effects they had on their lives and relationships.

Working through these issues is often a long and difficult process. This can be better facilitated through a trusting relationship with someone skilled in the techniques and theories that have been shown, through multiple research studies and testimonials, to be effective.

Personal strength and resolve, and a commitment to move forward, are essential and are better achieved through disclosure. Stopping the cycle of abuse through disclosure can also help others who are accessible to the perpetrator.

One in 10 children are sexually abused before the age of 18. Forty-four percent of sexual abuse and rape victims are under 18 years of age. If we are to confront this problem head on, we must speak up and speak out. This is the only way that those who have endured this abuse can find the help they need.

Lifting the veil of silence and shame will alert perpetrators that this behavior will not be tolerated, will not be kept secret, and that the shame and blame is theirs alone.

This story was originally published December 8, 2017 at 6:12 PM with the headline "Telling about abuse, harassment aids healing."