Op-Ed

Who does the KGB want for county magistrate?

Slemp says that Donald Trump is a disgrace to egomania. Slemp talks like that around educated people and talks regular around regular people.

But Slemp said that after the President’s Delusions of Adequacy Summer Tour on which The Most Powerful Man in the World got mixed up and forgot which side Europe is on, endorsed a wild orange-haired toon for prime minister of our new enemy Britain, then got kicked around like a red and silver ball into Vladimir Putin’s net with the world watching.

Putin sat there and made faces while Trump made a fool of his own intelligence service. Slemp is not easily embarrassed, but this time he had to go ahead and be embarrassed by the president because Slemp doubted that a bigger opportunity would ever occur.

Slemp wrote to his congressman demanding an investigation into whether or not the Russians were involved in that grade school Conservation Club election that Tie Rod stole from him by handing out Reese Cups.

Now Slemp has got to try and figure out who the Russians are for in every magistrate and council race in the county. And that is not easy. You don’t know real dirt from fake dirt in a campaign in which the Russians are helping to educate voters.

So, Slemp guesses his best strategy is to always vote for the candidate with the most mud slung against him or her, figuring that one was the most feared by the KGB.

Who’d have thought that the Russians want Republicans to win? That was the Joe McCarthy and Red Scare Nixon bunch which jailed leftists for their brief consideration of communism. It was a party which hated Russia then more than Trump hates reading.

Where is McCarthy when you need him? Committee or not, Slemp says there is such a thing as un-American activities.

So the only way Slemp can figure it is that Russia decided to back Trump because they already knew what he was going to do if he got elected, which he is now doing. When old Putin was asked if he had stuff on Trump he lied out of it, but Trump says Putin told the truth when he denied being involved with American elections. Looked him right in the peepers, man to man. Swore on his grandbabies’ lives.

Tie Rod is a cynic. He tells Slemp that Trump is just trying to stir up talk of impeachment before the November elections to arouse the people who voted for him, knowing impeachment will not happen mainly because even Democrats would rather have Trump in as president than Mike Pence, an Old Testament Christian, an un-American and a Republican of the New Kind — in that order.

Tie Rod says that he would swim into that Thailand cave and stay if Pence ever gets to be president.

Reach Larry Webster, a Pikeville attorney at websterlawrencer@bellsouth.net.

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