Mental-health treatment for teens, family support urgent

One in five children experience a mental-health condition but only 20 percent of them actually receive the help they need, according to the The National Alliance on Mental Illness.

Additionally, nearly 50 percent of students ages 14 and up who suffer from mental-health conditions will drop out of school. Perhaps the most alarming adolescent and teen mental health statistic is that suicide is the second-leading cause of death for 15 to 24 year olds.

These are not just numbers on a stat sheet; they represent thousands of children and their families struggling with mental illness every day in Lexington and throughout the commonwealth.

My son, who had always been a happy child, began to turn inward at around 11 years of age. This withdrawal was exacerbated when we moved to Kentucky — leaving his home, his school, his friends. We figured kids are resilient and that he would get used to Lexington. We would buy a new house. He would make new friends.

But he didn’t. He slowly began to become more distant and walled himself up into imaginary worlds he had created. We thought he would grow out of it. We assumed it was just a phase.

He began to be fatigued all the time and expressed very fatalistic views. He still had big dreams, but could never seem to complete anything he started.

We didn’t know what to do. We encouraged him to act his age, to be more mature, and get it together. As his parents, we struggled as he struggled. Our teenaged son was having suicidal thoughts and we felt powerless to help him.

In 2017, it was estimated that 600,000 Kentuckians have a mental illness. Although there are many mental-health professionals in the commonwealth, fewer than half of Kentuckians with mental illnesses seek treatment.

But there is a consensus that this issue needs solutions. In fact, mental health ranks third in the Community Health and Assessment and Improvement Plan conducted by the Lexington-Fayette County Health Department.

We have to make mental-health care affordable so that people who need help will not be priced out of potentially lifesaving treatment. People are dying.

One therapist with whom we met charged $80 per hour, and that was the prorated fee. He didn’t accept insurance and he wanted to see our son weekly. To further complicate the matter, it was hard for us to even admit that we had a son struggling with mental illness.

He was dealing with an affliction occurring in his mind. We could see the outward signs but we still couldn’t really comprehend what was going on inside.

He attempted to verbalize how he saw the world and we tried to understand him, but many days I felt utterly lost as to how to help my son navigate his life to a healthy place. And some days I was simply frustrated and sad that my wonderfully gifted and talented son was struggling to do basic things like get out of bed, shower or dress, because his anxiety and depression are often paralyzing.

We must eliminate the stigma associated with mental illness. Sometimes you have to name the thing so that it no longer has power over you — to make you feel shame, or guilt or fear.

According to NAMI, “Stigma causes people to feel ashamed for something that is out of their control. Worst of all, stigma prevents people from seeking the help they need.”

My son has a new therapist. Some medications are helping. We all have a renewed commitment to help him take the next steps toward healing. There are good days and still some bad days. There are scary days, too, when I am afraid he may hurt himself.

It has been a difficult road and there are many hard days ahead, but the sun will rise tomorrow and we will face that day together, no matter what it holds. My son is still here and I am grateful.

This story was originally published October 1, 2018 at 3:14 PM.