Now sober, I can fully appreciate the mornings

Saturday, 6 a.m. I’m trying to figure out what to write, and I realize how surreal it is that five months ago if I was up at this time I’d probably not have gone to bed from the night before.

One of the things I’ve enjoyed the most since getting sober is the peace and quiet of the early morning. I don’t know what it is exactly, but there’s just something so calming about this part of the day.

I always resented those annoying “morning people” who’d start their day off with a 5-mile run and a shot of wheat grass. My favorite time of the day used to be happy hour, when I needed a shot of something else to be calm and peaceful.

I guess I’ve done a complete 180-degree turn, from happy hour to the crack of dawn. The funny thing is, I didn’t set out to become a morning person, it just happened. Maybe this is how I was always supposed to be, and I’m just now figuring that out.

My sleep schedule was a mess before I went to treatment. I was well aware that I needed to go to bed at a reasonable hour to be able to function the next day, but I just couldn’t. I remember feeling stuck, like I was on a merry-go-round that I couldn’t get off.

I tried sleep meds, therapeutic lights, soothing music — everything except cutting out booze.I always thought alcohol was a downer; that it made me calm and helped me relax. Little did I know that alcohol has a “rebound effect” which causes anxiety, depression and sleeplessness. Check, check, and check. I had all of those symptoms.

I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder as a teenager, but I had no idea how much alcohol intensified these underlying issues.

Flip the script, remove the alcohol, and all of a sudden my anxiety, depression, and sleep problems drastically improved. It took some time, but since being sober I haven’t had a single panic attack, thank God.

Many addicts have serious co-occurring conditions like depression, anxiety, PTSD and bipolar disorder.

Often these individuals are self-medicating, so the “idea of sobriety sounds like pure torture,” says Julie D’Anniballe licensed professional clinical counselor at Beaumont Behavioral Health. “Diagnosing co-occurring mental health conditions while someone is in active addiction is rather complicated, and these individuals can experience extreme mental anguish without the proper medications and coping tools.”

I met a friend in treatment who has schizophrenia and epilepsy. Both conditions were exacerbated greatly due to her drug use, and finding the right combination of medicines that worked for her was impossible until she got clean. It’s taken a few months for her to stabilize, but she is doing great now, and her schizophrenia and epilepsy are much improved.

Co-occurring conditions can make it harder for individuals to seek treatment for their addiction. People with schizophrenia may be extremely paranoid and impossible to reason with (most addicts are anyway); and for people with anxiety or depression their drug of choice may seem to be the only thing that actually helps.

So what can a family member or friend do if their loved one is suffering from addiction, is a potential harm to themselves or others, and refuses to seek treatment?

Civil commitment (and I don’t mean marriage) is a mechanism that most states have just for such cases. The particulars of the laws in each state vary greatly, but in Kentucky we have Casey’s Law, enacted in 2004. In the next column, I’ll talk more about civil commitment in general and specifically the impact of Casey’s Law on both addicts and their families.

Well, it’s 7 a.m. now; the hustle and bustle of the day will start pretty soon. By the grace of God, I’ll wake up tomorrow and get to enjoy another morning sober.

This story was originally published October 2, 2018 at 3:30 PM.