View from the Double Quik: College admissions, water polo and all those confusing Democrats

Tie Rod’s rich uncle died and left him everything he had and he cashed the inheritance check at Double Quik. What makes him nervous now is that time years ago when that rich uncle got Tie Rod into Junior College by giving a case of liquid folk art to an Admissions Counselor, and claiming Tie Rod could play water polo. His water polo career lasted about as long as his academic career.

Tie Rod hates privilege, but not so bad that he will not exercise it when it is helpful. He doesn’t hate white privilege hardly at all and would love to keep it and at the same time not be a supremacist or racist or anything like that. He just can’t stand people buying their start. Tie Rod considers himself a self-made man, and like most self-made people, is over-proud of his creation. He cannot stand a Kennedy or a Bush or anybody else whose future is so secure that he doesn’t have to work and can risk politics as a career, and hire somebody to write a book for him.

Trying to pick a candidate to be for if you are a Democrat is not so easy. First you want to win. Biden never has. Clinton never will. All those women are confusing and seem to have the same name, except Pokie. One guy claims being mayor of a town qualifies him to be President, and he thinks that because the current occupant of that office is less qualified. That’s what he says.

Tie Rod wants to win and is scared of girl candidates. If he could put one in, he would, but he wants to win. So he doesn’t know whether to vote for the Democrat candidate that promises the most free stuff, or one of those moderates. He worries all that free stuff could be pretty costly, even· if Sen. Warren makes the Waltons pay for it.

The trouble is, all those Democrats who want to thwart the rush to socialism and kind of stay in the middle, call them moderates, end up with no message anybody can remember. Tie Rod compares the message of moderate Democrats to the new church music on elevated screens that you can’t remember a line of it when you get outside.

So Tie Rod is just about ready to go on looks, and hope the nice looking guy will also have skill. He gets Beto O’Rourke mixed up with that guy Guaido who is trying to take over Venezuela. He never dreamed a President could be named “Beto,”, unless it was maybe a President of Venezuela, but then he never dreamed that one would be named “Barack” either. But Beto is a nice looking kid and may carry Texas.

And like James Still said, you gotta hold your hand up for somebody.

Reach Larry Webster, a Pikeville attorney, at websterlawrencer@bellsouth.net.