Things Trump won’t find if he visits Kentucky: 1) Coal miners back at work. 2) The truth.

Tie Rod looks forward to Presidential election season, even the new longer season, because that is when we have clean coal and all the miners are getting ready to go back to work, right after the election, evening shift on the day of his second inauguration. Just like last time.

It doesn’t much matter to Tie Rod whether they do or not because he has figured out a way to make money either way, selling used hard hats, hard toe shoes and belts with all that coaly stuff hanging on them. He sells all that gear on the side of the road, plus second hand orange-striped work clothes.

When the mines do not go back in, he can buy all that stuff back for half what he got for it and sell it again four years later. When Tie Rod sells something on the side of the road to a poor person he gets paid. If, however he sells something to a coal company that has been owned by the same guy for eight or ten years, then he may get paid and may not.

The odds of ‘not’ go up as the barrel of the owner gets fuller. Nowadays all coal companies file Bankruptcy and its just a question of when and which small business or landowner will have had his product stolen, or the use of his land stolen. The reason they do it is because it works.

Sometimes Tie Rod sees those sprawling mansions and helicopters and watches those coal magnates buy influence and he wants to puke.

But Tie Rod has more important stuff to worry about than the poor getting screwed. He sees the real danger that is presented when the Lieutenant Governor’s office is understaffed. What if she had to do something? What if the Russians find this out?

And then there is the question of Hillary Clinton’s e-mails. We simply cannot let that go. It’s hard telling what could be in them. It may be that 50% of Americans think their President is a spy, or it may even be that we cannot tell military secrets to the Commander in Chief for fear he would tattle. We can deal with that stuff, but first we must see those e-mails.

Tie Rod is almost certain that Andy Beshear, Beto O’Rourke and that Guiado guy in Venezuela are the same person, maybe a composite avatar or something created by really good software, designed to overthrow the sovereign and look o.k.

Matt Bevin was self-created and like most self-created people, is overly proud of his creation. He will ride Trump like Dani on a dragon, hell fire and destruction coming out of the mouth of the former, reminding us of those missing e-mails and with Bevin holding on to the horns.

But there are three things you will not find when Trump comes to Kentucky: a coal miner who went back to work after the last election, meat frying, or the truth.

Reach Larry Webster, a Pikeville attorney, at websterlawrencer@bellsouth.net.