Tie Rod got a classic mountain education, which specializes in eighth grade graduations and excess apostrophes. He would put one right there before that last ‘s’. So when Tie Rod is searching for just the right word to use, it is not easy found. Currently he is trying to think of just the right word to describe somebody who would betray a people who were loyal, fierce, dependable and who died by the thousand fighting for and beside Americans.
Just what is the right word to describe a person who licenses slaughter, who sends mothers and infants fleeing from their ancient homeland into the foodless desert with their burning villages lighting up the sky as they look back? Tie Rod’s old granny used to describe unusually mean people by saying that the milk of human kindness has curdled in their chests. Curdled, curd. The word Tie Rod just can’t remember is sort of like the word curd.
Tie Rod had sort of hoped that ISIS would not get loose. Wonder which side they will be on? Who will they burn alive in a cage? Tie Rod is against beheading in general but was particularly distraught when ISIS broadcast the beheading of Daniel Pearl. Tie Rod had heard that Pearl was good at playing old time mountain fiddle and no fiddler should have to go through that. But when the United States turned tail and fled, we had taken custody of ten thousand or so of those beheaders, so we just signed our rights away and kept on trucking out of there, and left them for others to guard, which those others did for a day or two.
In Tie Rod’s region, there are people who will take bets on who will win a feud and the oddsmakers favor the side who has allies. You have very little chance in a feud without help, and if somebody helps you, they must be helped in return. Tie Rod is not sure but thinks the idea of fighting for those who fight for you comes from the Bible, or maybe evolution. Somebody who would not do that is a... Just what do you call them? Rhymes with curd, but not a ‘nerd’, not a ‘bird’, not a word heard much.
Tie Rod thinks we should print up pamphlets and drop them over the Kurdish homeland saying that we Americans are not all like the person Tie Rod is trying to describe with the word he has on the tip of his tongue. But Slemp asked Tie Rod where would you drop those pamphlets? It’s hard to drop stuff on people running for their lives. They have already been dumped on. And we would probably have to drop those fliers all over the world among anybody who now thinks you cannot trust America.
Slemp says that if we just sign the whole Middle East over to Russia, will they investigate Hunter, and destroy those tapes?
Slemp speaks fluent Latin and knows a quid pro quo when he sees one.
Curd, nerd, whirred, stirred, bird? Tie Rod just cannot think of that word.
Larry Webster is a Pikeville attorney. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.