‘I want my life back.’ COVID-19 has turned my life upside down and I have a mild case.

I have COVID-19.

It is a mild case. No respiratory problems. The headaches, the body aches, the variety of symptoms and how they change daily baffles me. My first symptom was severe diarrhea. I would have required IV fluids if a friend had not brought me the most amazing home remedy: rice water. It made it possible for me to even go to the doctor and be tested. Granted, I had to wear a diaper.

Some days, screens worsen the headaches. Other days, it’s talking. I talk and the headache bounces right over the Advil like I never took it.

And the fever! I had one for seven days.

I’ve called this pandemic the “Rona Ride” for months now. It reminds me of when my dad had lung cancer. We rode the emotional roller coaster of how it imposed upon him and us. It shaped our lives for three years a bit like this virus does for us now. Only COVID-19 is not a personal experience for most of us. It’s not your dad or you. It’s someone else with COVID-19.

This virus is “crazy making” as a friend of mine said. You think you feel better. You get up to go to the bathroom and you almost fall over at the door and crawl back to your bed. True story. It happened more than once.

You decide to walk outside, maybe 100 feet. Then, you aren’t sure if you’ll make it back inside because your strength depleted faster than expected. I swam three times a week before the pandemic.

No fever all day, finally. Happy dance inside! Then, it spikes to the highest yet with Advil in your system.

COVID-19 is worse than I imagined, and I have a mild case. I’d rather have the flu or walking pneumonia. I’ve had both. Living in this pandemic is indeed a “Rona Ride.” The illness is too — ever changing.

I tell people, when new decisions are made like masks, school: “It’s okay if you don’t like it. Stick around. It’ll change in a few weeks.”

The virus is like that in hours and days.

I’m ready to be well. I’m not. I want my life back. We all do. I don’t think life will ever be the same, and maybe that’s okay. Lung cancer changed my dad’s life and all of us who loved him. This virus changes our lives too even if we don’t get it.

COVID, you are a bitch. You showed up all over the world without an invitation, and you flipped everything upside down.

COVID, you infected me. I miss my husband’s lips. My sons’ stories, smiles, and hugs. But you are only an intruder. Like most you infect, I will be well and live to tell my story.

No pandemic lasts forever. A few years at most. So, enjoy your intrusion, COVID. It’s only fleeting.

Ellen Martin is a life coach and the author of A Life Shared: Meaningful Conversations with Our Kids. She moved to Kentucky 19 years ago to attend Asbury Theological Seminary and never left. With a M.A.C.E. and M.Div., she lives outside Wilmore with her husband and their five sons.