At the next debate, Biden should hand Trump $750 and say, ‘I paid your taxes for you.’

For the next debate Biden should make up some stuff on Barron and holler it every time Trump is describing the details of his health care plan. Or, an even better trick would be for Biden to reach in his pocket and hand Trump $750 and say, here Donald, I am going to pay your taxes for you this year. Or maybe get some woman who looks just right to call herself Patsy Clown and while they are showing the President walking on the way from the cart to the green, she could sing “I go out walkin’, with my fake hair, and my little round red nose.” Just suggestions. I will do anything I can to help.

The debate proved one important fact: there is somewhere out there a cream or a procedure which really helps rich old men have less wrinkles than they used to. And that shot I took in the previous paragraph about the fake hair was somewhat unfair in that Biden’s implants were a big item back in the day. This is as far as I can go in making fun of people’s looks.

After we finally got some information about the President’s assets and debts, we know that the main fake news we have heard for years is that he is a billionaire. Mike Bloomberg, who ought to know, told us so. Trump’s net worth now is probably less than the mere $500 million his daddy gave him so he could become a self-made man. Like most self-made men, the President worships his creator. If my daddy gave me $500 million I would have just kept on practicing law until it was gone.

Whenever a vacancy on the Supreme Court arises and Judge Amil Thapar’s name comes up on Trump’s list, some of us in the uplands pull for him, even some of us with no pull. He seemed fairly fair and not like some of those Federalists , even though he sometimes sentenced too high. As much as we would love to have on the Supreme Court a guy who used to operate at the end of Main Street in Pikeville, he will not be on any Biden list.

While many think that the new Supreme Court Justice nominee was picked to abolish Obamacare, to criminalize abortion, or as Trump admits, or even brags, to insure his reelection by Court order, we seers know that the real reason is that he wants a favorable Supreme Court to keep his house, or whatever they call that Edifice Complex where they live, from being foreclosed on. Trump is the first President known to be behind in his payments. We are not sure about Grant.

Here’s the kicker. If, as some predict the results of the election are not certified by the end of Trump’s term, then Nancy Pelosi would be the President for a while. The current President doesn’t stay on. The only way he stays is to tell those forces that he ordered to stand back and stand down to stand forward and up. Which side gets to call itself the rebels if Trump seizes power and refuses to leave? There is a certain romance to being a rebel. Good chance to use those guns.

Larry Webster is an attorney in Pikeville.