No matter your income or status, always give until it hurts. Kentuckians need you.

Sunday couldn’t come soon enough.

I remember staring at my new outfit, a lavender dress made by my mom with a sewing machine on its last leg, a white hat and black shoes shined with butter. I was the oldest of 11 – five at that time – and an outfit not pieced together from Goodwill or made from scraps from the discount cart at the fabric shop was a rarity. A big church from Louisville was visiting our little country church and I was going to sing with our choir, so I wanted my outfit to be perfect.

I woke up that Sunday and discovered one of my childhood friends had come to stay with us during the night because her mom had a medical emergency. My mom asked me to get an outfit for my friend to wear to church and I dug through my limited wardrobe to find something. When I took an outfit to my mom, she frowned and gave it back to me.

“You put this on and let her wear the purple dress,” she said, and I was devastated. I knew better than to talk back to my mother and I didn’t want my friend to see me pout and cry, but it broke my heart to hand over my outfit.

My mother taught me a valuable lesson that day: Always give your best.

As we enter the season of giving, I urge you to give your best to those in need. It’s easy to part with your old stuff – forgotten toys at the bottom of the chest, out-of-season fashions, nearly expired canned goods and dusty items from the basement. We tell ourselves that one missing button, one little tear or stain or one missing part doesn’t matter to people who have little or nothing. Beggars can’t be choosy, right?

We drop our donations off at the church or shelter or agency of our choice and pat ourselves on the back for helping the poor and cleaning out our closets at the same time. We imagine some unfortunate soul will get our junk and be grateful while we scurry out to buy newer, bigger, better.

So many families are in financial turmoil right now due to the pandemic and everything else 2020 barfed up. Some of the nonprofits those families normally turn to are struggling to meet rising demand with tighter budgets. Christmas will be lean and mean for kids whose parents are deciding between prescriptions or rent or winter coats or new tires.

Yes, they will be grateful for your old stuff. That’s not the point. What and how you give is a reflection of you and not the recipient. In a twist to the Golden Rule: Give unto others as you would have given to you. I simply urge you to make sure your heart is in the right place. No matter your income or status, always give until it hurts. If it doesn’t cost you to give, it’s probably not generous enough.

In closing, I’d like to share a few tips I gleaned from my time as working and volunteering with local charities and the many times I’ve been on the receiving end of the kindness of strangers.

1. Always ask/research first. Most non-profits have a wish list of items on their website or on Amazon. Also remember that not everyone in need wants your charity.

2. If it’s used, take time to launder or clean the items, repair the tears and breaks, touch up the paint, replace the missing parts, check expiration dates and recall lists, then and fold, hang or pack the items neatly. Pro giver tip: If you know who will receive the item, add a thoughtful note to tell them how it helped your family and how they can care for it. Also, consider including a complementary gift, like a drycleaning gift certificate with a dress that can’t be machine washed.

3. Don’t dump it. Call ahead before dropping off your donation to make sure they don’t have specific receiving hours. Random dumping creates an eyesore and a mess for someone to clean up or it can be stolen by opportunists.

4. Check expiration dates and recall lists.

5. Don’t brag. Yes, posting on social media can encourage others to give or promote an organization that needs support, but check your motives. Also, be sure to ask for permission – or a waiver – before sharing names and pictures of the less fortunate. Consider their pride and safety.

6. Include your children or family. Just as important as dragging your kids to volunteer at the local food drive or shelter is letting them see you give your best, not just your unwanted.

7. Give all year. Need is not seasonal.

Risa Richardson, APR, a former Herald-Leader writer, works in public relations and is a mother of two. She suggests donations to the Lexington Rescue Mission or Step by Step.

This story was originally published November 25, 2020 at 11:25 AM.