We want our children to feel loved, respected. SB 150 would create untold harm. | Opinion

As a 10th grader at Henry Clay High School and their parent, we read with dismay the text of Senate Bill 150 because of the devastating effects such a law would have on us and others throughout the Commonwealth like us. While the bill’s sponsor claims that its primary goal is the protection of what they call “parental rights,” instead SB150 embraces prejudice and exclusion by explicitly authorizing teachers and school administrators to substitute their own beliefs for that of a child’s parent in situations like ours, where the family supports the child’s use of a preferred name and pronouns that differ from those assigned at birth.

Wick: When I moved from middle school to high school, the name my parents had given me at birth and the pronouns I’d used until then no longer fit how I saw myself or how I wanted other people to see me. It was difficult to tell my parents this, but luckily they were supportive and helped me figure out what to do. I had put a lot of thought into my name before telling them and afterwards as well. I had an idea of how I wanted my name to sound, I made a list of names I thought were good contenders and introduced myself in the mirror with each name. Eventually I decided that the name Wick felt more natural than my birth name. I still think about my name often, and the idea of going back to being called my birth name feels wrong. In the end, I got to arrive at Henry Clay High School with the name (Wick) and pronouns (they/them) that best matched how I felt. My teachers were all kind about my new name, and all used it to refer to me in class, but during my freshman year the class lists and my student ID still had my birth name, so when a substitute teacher came, they’d use that name, and it made me feel uncomfortable, like having someone mispronounce your name but worse. I didn’t like having to use an ID with my old name on it either. By the end of that year, my parents and I had talked with the administration and by the time I came back as a sophomore this year, my ID and the class lists all said “Wick”. It was really nice not to have to make a big deal about it, and to be referred to by the name that I had chosen for myself.

Jennifer: As a parent, my number one concern is the well-being of my children. I want my children to feel valued, respected, and safe in all spaces. For Wick, achieving this feeling on a regular basis includes being called by the name they prefer and having people use their preferred pronouns. The use of a “preferred name” that is different than the name on official documentation is nothing new – how many kids in your school went by “Trey” instead of John or “Peggy” instead of Margaret? Did those kids get the benefit of having everyone in the school know them by the name they wanted to use and that their parents wanted them to be able to use? SB 150 creates legislative authorization for an individual teacher or administrator to refuse to use my child’s name. But how is a rule that allows a teacher to refuse to respect the wishes of a parent like me, who just wants her child to be able to use a preferred name, something that belongs in a bill that claims to be about respecting parental rights? Isn’t it my obligation to ensure my child’s school is a place that offers Wick the respect I expect them to receive in all the settings in which they find themselves?

We are lucky enough to send Wick to a school that is filled with dedicated and committed teachers who value our children in all of their diversity. Wick knows they are loved and respected. Wick gets that message both at home and at school. But we are devastated at what a bill like this one would do for children who find themselves in less welcoming settings and in communities that do not value a parent’s duties to support their child’s decisions. I am a citizen of this Commonwealth, a parent, and a taxpayer, who is entitled to the same rights as any other parent. If my child goes to school and a teacher has been authorized by our elected officials to reject the name my child uses, I am in no way being given the kind of parental autonomy supporters of this bill claim to value. It is beyond time for the state of Kentucky to recognize that legislation like this legitimizes hate and exclusion. Are we surprised when our young people grow up and look for greener pastures elsewhere? Let’s make sure Kentucky remains a place where they feel welcomed and valued, whoever they are.

Wick Bird-Pollan (they/them) is a sophomore at Henry Clay High School. Jennifer Bird-Pollan (she/her) is their mother.

This story was originally published February 10, 2023 at 9:07 AM.